Interlude
by Kathryn Brennan
Summary: Kate Beckett can not remember the last day she had to herself and can not wait to spend it peacefully. Life, on the other hand, has bigger plans for her day. Rating will change!
1. Chapter 1

_This is my first Castle related fanfiction, and I hope I can pull it off well!_

_I do not own these characters, although it would be a nice present..._

Kate Beckett finally had a day off. The sun was shining, the air had a hint of spring through it, and all the snow had finally melted off the busy streets. She stared out the window, watching the sun slowly make its way up the sky, and wondered what to do with such a wonderful day. A full day free of murders, blood, and sadness. Of Castle.

She sighed. Couldn't she have one to herself? Peace and quiet, that's what she truly needed. A day free of Castle and his annoying….. hell, his cute antics. She groaned and spun on her heel away from the window and walked to her bedroom. She threw her sea green robe to the floor and tossed the oversized white shirt next to it. She stood in her electric blue underwear in front of her closet. She grabbed a loose white tank top and dark skinny jeans and dressed quickly. She threw on boots and a leather jacket before heading out the door.

The breeze whipped around her face as she stepped out into the street. Central Park was not too far away, and she could use more exercise than what she was getting. By the time she had reached the park, her hunger had risen so that it could not be ignored anymore. She grabbed a sandwich from a little deli and made her way near the heart of the park.

A small bench rested underneath a huge tree and Kate sat down. She sighed, finally content with her life. She pulled out an old paperback novel and cracked the spine. She took a huge bite of her sandwich and settled back against the bench.

She heard people walk by her, either talking or running. Hours passed as she read on, ignoring the world.

Her peace was broken.

"Beckett?"

She flinched and rolled her neck. Kate turned her head towards the path and groaned inwardly as the voice matched the face.

"Castle. What are you doing here?" She hid the small smile that was tugging at her lips.

"Well I was just going for a walk. The day is beautiful and my writing block has been killing me lately." He grinned at her, making her heart melt a bit. "What are you doing here Kate?"

"I was trying to read. Finally having a day off is fantastic, but it seems like you have interrupted my plans." Her voice had a slight softness about it, which did not go unnoticed by Castle. He looked at her questioningly for a second then sat down next to her. He gently took the book out of her hands and placed it in her purse. Her sandwich laid on her other side, unnoticed. Their eyes met and she sucked in a breath.

He grabbed her hand and her purse. Her fingers curled around his and he smiled.

The moment was broken when he jumped up and pulled her roughly to her feet.

"Come on Beckett! WE have a free day! Let's celebrate!" He grinned at her like a little kid and Kate could not say no to him.

With a massive roll of her eyes she said,"Well, Mr. Castle, what did you have in mind?"


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to everyone who reviewed! All those wonderful comments make me want to write even faster! :D Hope you enjoy another chapter! Yes, I have a plan and yes, the chapters will get longer so don't worry about the size right now! :D

_He grabbed her hand and her purse. Her fingers curled around his and he smiled._

_The moment was broken when he jumped up and pulled her roughly to her feet._

_"Come on Beckett! WE have a free day! Let's celebrate!" He grinned at her like a little kid and Kate could not say no to him._

_With a massive roll of her eyes she said,"Well, Mr. Castle, what did you have in mind?"_

"You know this proves my point about you being a nine year old." Kate said as she slipped a heavy black vest over her head. Her wavy hair was knotted at the top of her head, with only a few pieces falling around her face.

Castle smirked as his vest settled on his chest. "You can't tell me that you have not wanted to do this for a while. Seriously, Beckett, just let everything go. We are here to kick some ass!" The last part of his statement got a few dirty looks from the parents around them. Kate rolled her eyes and pulled the gun from its holster on the right side of her body.

"I'm going to kill you." She stared into his eyes and focused hard. She saw his excitement waiver briefly before he said, "Not if I get to you first." She spun on her heel and walked into the arena.

Castle watched her stalk off and laughed lightly to himself. He looked at the sign above the door Beckett had walked through and grinned. He would have never thought he could convince her to play laser tag with him.

Fog filled the air as Castle walked into the arena. He looked to the left and walked along the wall to a spot hidden against an empty door frame. He crouched down and held the gun in both hands and waited for the game to start.

He did not have to wait long because a few seconds later a beep sounded from his vest and he knew the game was on. He tried to listen for Kate's heeled boots sounding against the cold floor but the sound of children's voices and laughter clogged the air. He scanned the area and started through the doorway. He weaved through small rooms and walls trying to find Kate.

He shot a few children who ran in front of him. They looked back at him glaring, but he took no notice. As he started to turn another corner he stopped himself short. He could see Kate along the next wall, slowly moving against it. He smiled as he raised his gun to aim at the shoulder sensor.

As luck would have it, a group of ten-year-olds burst from behind him knocking him forward and towards Kate. He hit his head hard against the wall and reached out to find something to grab.

Kate had gasped when he had thrown himself forward and stepped towards him before she could realize that he was tripping. His hand flailed wildly as he tried to find some sort of balance. Castle grabbed onto the middle of her arm which had been pressed close to her body.

She breathed in sharply and his hand gripped her arm and his fingers grazed her right breast. It took Castle a minute to realize what was happening and his face turned a dark shade of red which was visible even in the dim lighting.

"I…I… wow, uh, sorry?" Castle's mind was racing and could not complete a full sentence.

"Just let go Castle." Kate said, her voice low. Castle could have sworn Beckett's voice had a husky quality to it, but he could not be sure. His arm fell limply at his side and he looked at the ground.

His pack suddenly vibrated, which made him jump.

"I win." Kate said, voice still soft. She turned quickly on her heel and disappeared around the corner.


	3. Chapter 3

"You know you cheated right?" Kate whispered in his ear as they were walking out of the arena. Castle jumped slightly at her voice and the feeling of her hot breath on the back of his neck. He craned his neck around and looked at her, still walking forward.

"Oh really? You still got the first kill shot though, that has to be worth something." She rolled her eyes and walked faster. She figured if he could get away with more shots at her, she could give a little payback. She put extra swagger into her step and she could feel his eyes staring at her ass. She chuckled softly to herself. Men were so easy to play with sometimes.

As they reached the enterance Castle turned to Beckett and looked at her questioningly.

"What?" she said raising an eyebrow.

"Are you still free? Because I would seriously like to take you out for some lunch." Castle looked into her eyes, trying to make them as big as possible. Kate was taken aback by the seriousness of his look.

"I…..I don't know Castle. I need to get some work done…for work." She tried to focus on the fact that she was still dating Josh. The ever perfect Josh. He did not deserve her cheating on him with Castle. Plus, Castle was not someone who dealt in committed relationships. He was a player, an adorable, sweet, charming, player.

She could not do it. How could she leave someone who could be there for her and never want to leave her? Josh was wonderful. So romantic. Castle on the other hand….. Castle was Castle.

She pushed her hair out of her face and looked back at Castle. She gave him a light smile.

"I really need to get going Castle. Thank you a fantastic afternoon though, it's been fun. Really. I'm a little surprised myself!" She tried to lighten the mood with a joke, but Castle did not seem affected. He looked at the floor for a moment, then back up at Beckett.

"You're right Beckett. I'll get you a cab home."

He stopped by the curb and waved one hand while using the other to whistle. It only took a moment for a ca to pull up in front of him. He gripped the yellow handle and opened the door for Beckett. She had been looking at the cement, eyes full of sadness and maybe a little shame.

She got into the cab without making direct eye contact with Castle

"Sorry." She whispered before getting into the cab.

XXXXX

Kate felt horrible. She did not understand why either. Castle knew she was in a relationship. A serious relationship even! It's not as if she was just sleeping with Josh, although that was a major plus. She had committed herself to be with him right now, and God damn it, he was screwing it up!

She rolled her eyes in annoyance and paid the cab driver. She stepped onto the street and looked into her building lobby. She could see Josh waiting in the lobby, reading a book in one of the uncomfortable chairs. Kate sighed and tried to decide what to do. Her brain and heart were battling it out making it difficult to understand what was going on.

Kate took a breath and walked into her building.

XXXXX

Castle had walked home after sending Kate on her way. He had crossed a line and regretted it. He needed to work on the filter between his brain and his mouth. Something was like this was bound to happened again if he did not try to distance himself from her.

He walked up the stairs to his apartment. He walked straight past Martha and Alexis, who were talking and watching the television. They looked at each other with worried expressions before they got up and made their way over to where Castle was standing. He had grabbed vodka from the cabinet and already downed a shot before Martha could say anything.

"Sweetheart, what's the problem? " He glared at her for a second before taking another shot.

"It's five o'clock somewhere." He said, smiling sadly. "I really don't want to talk about it right now. I swear I will be fine by tomorrow. I'm just going to go write for a bit."

XXXXX

He's off to save the world again. Not even Africa this time, even farther. Asia, all of it. It sucked, but she could move on. She never gets hung up on a man, and she prides herself on it. Kate Beckett, woman. Strong, ass-kicking woman.

She sighed and grabbed a beer from the fridge. She sat down on her couch and flipped through the channels on her TV. She settled on a crappy Lifetime movie. At least she didn't have to think hard about plot.

By the time the movie was over, she had finished four beers and was more than a little tipsy. She had been staring at her phone for the past ten minutes trying to figure out what to do.

She could call her old friend for a major booty call, or maybe….

She picked up the phone and dialed. She took a deep breath as the phone rang.

"Hello?" a sleepy voice answered.

"Uh, hey…." She hiccupped in the middle of her sentence, "I was just wondering what you were up too…"

"Are you just a little drunk Detective Beckett? " She could almost see him smirk across the phone line.

"Castle….shut up. I just wanted to talk to you, but if you don't want to…"

"Do you even know what time it is? Well, I'm awake now, so what did you want to talk about?"

"Josh is gone. I might have gotten…slightly drunk over a movie. Do not laugh Richard Castle!" He has started to chuckle lightly at her mention of drinking. But he went silent fast.

"Why." The simple question was full of silent wonder. Kate knew this would be coming eventually. She closed her eyes and could feel herself sobering up fast.

"Off to be Superman. But I just can't be his Lois Lane right now." Her voice caught at the end of her sentence and she winced at her vunerability. "You know, it's alright. I'm just going to go to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow Castle." She quickly hung up before he could say anything.

Kate walked to her bedroom and flopped on her bed, face down. She let out a short scream of frustration which was muffled by the pillows all around her. She threw off her clothes before crawling in her bed and falling asleep quickly.

XXXXX

Castle stared at his phone after Kate had hung up. What the hell? Kate never got drunk, well not enough to let her guard down so suddenly. He rolled on his back and stared at the ceiling.

He had been preparing himself for the relationship they had had before. Flirting from afar. Very far.

How the hell could he stay away now? His heart was overpowering his brain, like normal. He knew he was head over heels for Kate. He knew from day one, once he told her about her eyes. The look that flashed across her face was forever burned into his memory. He wanted to be able to stare at her without being creepy, not that it had stopped him before. He knew Kate had caught him staring at her more times than he can even remember, but he didn't care. He loved her more than anything. And it had ripped his heart out to see her date other people. He put up protective barriers briefly when he got back together with Gina.

But that was only a cover. He never wanted to compromise Kate's relationship, he wasn't that type of man. His playboy persona was in the past. No one could come close to Kate.

And now she was free. He never prayed, he was not interested in religion, but he asked God to let Kate see him in a different light now. He would never let anything hurt her.

He would take a bullet for her.


	4. Chapter 4

_Thank you for all the wonderful reviews and alerts on this story! It makes me want to write a heck of a lot faster!_

_Also, this fic will soon be rated M for violence, then maybe something else if I'm feeling nice ;)_

_Anyway!_

_Enjoy and review!_

XXXXXXXX

They did not speak on Sunday at all. Castle wanted to give Kate space after another relationship gone sour. He couldn't wait to see her though. He had so many things to tell her, to show her.

Monday rolled into Castle's life and he showed up at the precinct a little before lunch. He had made reservations at a very nice Italian restaurant for two, and Kate was coming with him whether she liked it or not.

He carried two coffees in his hands, as usual. The only way Kate was going to get hers is if she came to lunch, or at least that was his plan.

Her desk was empty. He looked at the murder board and saw that they had a case. He was a little wounded. How could she not call him? God, he knew Beckett was embaressed by what happened, but it shouldn't have affected her so much.

"Hey Esposito? Where did Kate go?" He kept looking around trying to find her but there was no sign of the tall brunette.

"She's interviewing a suspect downtown. She should be back soon, don't get your panties in a knot." He cracked a grin at him then turned back to his desk. Castle walked over and sat down in her chair, ignoring one of her requests, moving the seat up to a comfortable height. She could deal with the chair being a little higher. Plus, it was always fun to get her out of her comfort zone.

He sat like this for ten minutes before his phone chirped. He knew before he answered the phone that it was Beckett. He wondered if she would be back in time for their lunch date, well more like his evil plan of a lunch date.

"Good morning Detective Beckett" he said, trying to sound as cheerful as possible.

All that answered his was a loud crash and gunfire, followed by screaming. His eyes widened in horror.

"Kate? KATE?" he yelled into the phone, but no one answered. By this time both Ryan and Esposito were at Beckett's desk, worried looks brushing their faces. He hit the speaker phone button on the cell and set it down on Beckett's desk.

There was a new noise coming from the phone. It sounded like something was being dragged across a wooden floor, but whatever it was obviously would not hold still. Castle picked up a muffled sound in the background; a cross between crying and screaming his name.

Someone had his Kate.

XXXXXXXX

Castle looked at Ryan and Esposito, all of their faces displaying shock. Ryan was the first to jump into action, running over to the Captain's office. He burst in while he was in the middle of a phone call but Ryan did not care.

"Someone had Beckett."

Montgomery quickly hung up on his telephone call and stared at Ryan. He then swept his arm across his table and knocked over hundreds of papers. Ryan jumped at his anger. He hung his head while bracing himself against the desk with both hands. When he spoke a second later, his voice was tight but commanding.

"I want all of the info you have on the case you were working on. I will contact everyone else. We will find her."

Ryan headed back out to the bull pen and noticed that Castle was already a step in front of him. His wide eyes scanned the murder board, looking for any clues.

"Who did she go see?" His voice was low and shaking slightly. Ryan knew how much Castle cared about Beckett, so it pained him to see Castle act so destroyed.

"His name was Frank Tyler. He was not even a major suspect in the case, he was just a friend of our vic. God I am so sorry Castle. We should have gone with her or done something to help but I mean how could we have known what would happen? She's just so stubborn and can usually take care of herself…" A look from Castle stopped his rambling and he looked at the floor, still mumbling his apologies.

Esposito came over to them, keys to the crusier in his hand. He nodded at them both and shook the keys.

"Let's go. We have a friend to find." Ryan dropped off all of the info that they had on the case on Montgomery's desk. He told them CSI was already on the way to Tyler's house.

As the elevator doors slide shut, Castle stared at the cup of cold coffee on Kate's desk. He prayed that she would be okay. He could not bear to lose her, not after fate had finally begun to bless him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Kate was in pain. She head felt like it was split in half, and she could not see out of one of her eyes. She groaned when she tried to move for a shot a white hot pain ran up her right leg. Kate realized that her hands were trapped in metal. The cold concrete attached to her new found shackles so she could only move a few inches.

A single tear ran down from her left eye. She wiped it away quickly, not wanting to show weakness when whoever kidnapped her came back. Weakness would be the worst thing she could show in this situation.

She looked around her prison carefully, trying to pick out any details that could tell her where she was. The room was a little bigger than a seven feet each way with a large metal door in the middle of the wall in front of her. Quite a bit of light was coming from under the door, giving her the only source of light in her room.

She tried to listen for any outside noise. Her ears strained for minutes on end and was finally rewarded with faint whisperings. As they got louder her heart started beating faster and she tried to figure out what to do.

The door's deadbolts clanged loudly and echoed through her cement prison. The door opened and a bright light flooded the room, blinding Beckett.

"Oh good, you're up."

_Sorry for the little cliffhanger!_

_I'll try to write fast so everyone can enjoy the next chapter!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Sorry for the lack of updates guys! _

_Is anyone else having trouble with the fanfiction emails? None of mine are coming through D:_

_Oh well! Hope you enjoy it!_

_R&R_

XXXX

Kate felt a chill roll up her spine. She focused on keeping her face straight and hiding the growing fear in her chest.

The man stepped into the room and Kate finally saw who it was. It was the brother of the suspect she had been interviewing for their case. Kate remembered his name was Bryan…or Brandon. That was not the important part right now. Her brain was still groggy as she tried to remember the details that she had gained from her interview.

"I figure you know who I am. You just had to see my family didn't you Detective? You couldn't just leave us alone! We put a bad man in the ground and all you people want to do is throw us in a cell for twenty-five years!" His voice was rising and she could see his face growing redder. "Now I have to hide you so I can continue to stop murderers that the NYPD cannot seem to catch themselves."

His eyes roamed her body and Kate grimmiced. He looked over his shoulder and called to someone for someone else. Within a few moments, another man was standing in the doorway. He was tall and large with a mop of red brown hair that slightly covered his eyes. He held a briefcase in his left hand that rattled when he walked. He cracked a grin in Kate's direction, showing off crooked teeth that were stained yellow.

"Well Ms. Beckett, I see you met Bryan here. You can call me Charlie. I am going to….help Bryan get some details from you before we send you on your way." He walked towards her and set the briefcase down a foot away from her. Charlie popped the lid open and all Kate could see was gleaming silver before Charlie turned the case away. He stood a finger at her while shaking his head.

"Now Beckett….Kate. How much do the rest of your little Detective friends know about this operation?"

Kate sat silently, vowing to herself to not say anything. She owed her victim that much. Ryan and Esposito would figure out where she was before anything could happen. At least she hoped for that.

"Oh, Kate, Kate, Kate. This is not going to end well if you don't help me out." He pulled a small knife from the briefcase and moved towards Kate. Her hear started beating rapidly and she swallowed loudly. Charlie tightened the chains around her wrists so that they could barely leave the ground.

"I will ask you again. How much do they know?" Silence was the answer and he pressed the knife into the fabric of her grey work pants. He did not touch her skin and he sliced the pants open from hip to ankle.

"Oh how lovely. Red has always been my favorite color." Kate glanced down and remembered that she had worn her red boyshorts because she had been feeling less than fabulous. They always made her feel a little better, except in this case.

She flinched as Charlie drug the cold blade down her thigh, opening a small gash in her flesh.

"Oh, she's going to be a tough one Bryan." He looked up at Bryan who nodded then walked out of the room.

XXXXXXX

Castle, Ryan, and Esposito had been working all night. Their shirts were wrinkled, their eyes bloodshot, and they all had a coffee cup permanently in their hands.

A break in the case had occurred during the beginning of their investigation. One of the many other officers that were helping them had figured out that the original victim, Annabelle Grange, was helping to smuggle in people, mostly women, from Sweden. Frank Tyler had been the boss behind the operation and obviously was not too happy about having the NYPD breathing down his neck.

Castle had gone to the newest crime scene with Ryan and Esposito, hoping to find more clues as to where Kate was at. The apartment was trashed, which meant Kate had not gone down without a fight. There was blood spatter across part of the wall and flooring which turned out to be Tyler's. Kate's phone was under the couch where Tyler must have thrown it after she had tried to call Castle.

The only way Kate would have gone quietly is if she was drugged, but nothing was found on scene. In fact, besides Tyler's blood and the folder on the Swedish women, the scene was dead. There was nothing but Tyler's clothing, a few movies, and a television. The fridge and surrounding cabinets were empty and looked like they never had been stocked to begin with.

After that, there was nothing. No trace of Beckett or Tyler. Castle was dying inside. He couldn't imagine who would take Kate. He couldn't imagine life without her. Every time he looked away from the murder board and stared at her chair, sitting empty, the pain that ran through his body was almost unbearable. He knew he had to get her out of the hands of the assholes who took her. He didn't know if he could go on if he had to put her body into the ground.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

She felt broken. Worse than how she felt after her mother's murder. Kate never knew this type of pain. It was both physical and mental. Her body ached everywhere, the cuts from Charlie's blade stinging over most of her body. Kate felt a tear slide down her check and hit the cold floor. She could not understand why they were doing this to her. Charlie had decided to carve something into her thigh, a single word, "mine". The moment he did that, she felt the walls that where hiding her emotions shattered. She would be forever scarred in a way that could not heal over. She could still feel her sobs that had racked her body. Her ribs felt bruised from her crying and Charlie's attentions.

She would kill Charlie. Kill him for what he did to her. He didn't stop at her thigh, he took the knife and sliced off the rest of her clothing. She wanted to forget what happened next.

Who gave him the right? Who gave him the right to her body? She didn't want him so why should he have her? Kate felt more tears coming and curled up in the fetal position. She felt like dying. Her mind felt like it was attacked with grenades. Her thoughts came in pieces, scrambled up so that she couldn't understand herself.

She knew that she would never be the same if she got out of this alive. How could she let anyone in to her life when she was this broken? No one would want her after this. She was bound to be alone anyway.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Castle had fallen asleep at Kate's desk, an empty coffee cup by his hands. He woke up suddenly when Ryan and Esposito had come running into the bull pen yelling at the top of their lungs for phone recording equipment. He looked confused for a moment before running to stand next to Ryan who had a phone.

Ryan hit the speaker button on the touch screen just as a voice rang out.

"Leave it alone or she dies." The voice was thick and computer enhanced. The dial tone answered the questioning look from Castle.

"I'm going to say no trace right?"

Ryan answered with a soft no, his eyes staring at the phone resting in his hands. His eyes were a sea of emotion and Castle could not figure out what he was thinking.

"We are getting closer. They wouldn't have called if we weren't on the right trail."

At that exact moment another police officer burst into the bull pen, multiple papers in his hand. He stopped in front of Esposito and thrust the papers in his face. Esposito looked at the papers in confusion for a moment before his eyes widened in recognition and shock.

"They found Tyler's warehouse. An alias of his just received a huge crate from Sweden off of a ship."

Castle's mind froze between being deliriously happy and horribly suspicious.

"Don't you think that Tyler would have figured out that we would have found his alias'? Why would he continue to use them?" Ryan stared at him. His eyes wandered across his face then hit the floor.

"He's right. We need a SWAT team to clear the area before we go in. I do not want the rest of our team to end up as little pieces of meat across the floor. Tyler would set a trap. He warned us to back off and since we haven't, he would want to send a message." He was pacing back and forth, his legs working fast. He stopped suddenly and whipped around on his heel to stare at Esposito.

"I'll tell the Captain, can you ready the rest of the team?" Esposito nodded quickly and grabbed his coat and headed to the door with Castle.


	6. Chapter 6

The warehouse was a maze filled with vast empty containers and rooms with a thin layer of dust. The SWAT team, along with Ryan and Esposito, were clearing area after area while Castle walked behind them. The more area they covered the less hope filled Castle's face.

Castle approached Ryan who was talking to the SWAT leader.

"Should we start checking containers? There's no one in the building but you never know what someone could have left." The tall man nodded and walked over to a group of his people.

"She's not going to be here, is she Ryan?"The soft tone that Castle used caused a wave of sadness and pain across the officer's face.

"We…we really don't know at this point Castle. I wish I could give you more but I don't want to get your hopes up. I promise we will find her. For you."

Castle looked up at the man who had become a close friend. He was trying to put on a brave face for him and that made Castle respect him even more.

"I won't keep you here. I know you want to be out finding Kate with the rest of the guys." Castle laid a hand on his right shoulder. "But thank you for being honest with me." A look of concern passed his face quickly and he added," I'll stay here I promise."

Minutes passed and slowly turned into an hour. Castle was sitting on the cold floor, his back against a metal container. He had been staring at a dark spot on the floor for a while, his hands twisting in his lap. He heard loud noises from the far right of the warehouse and stood up to peer around the container in front of him. Both the NYPD and SWAT were racing from the corner and headed towards the door.

"What's going on?" Castle asked, panic filling his voice. Esposito came out of the crowd and grabbed Castle's upper arm.

"There's a bomb in the last container my group checked. Its going off within five minutes we need to clear everyone out of the building now!" His eyes were frantic as he searched for his partner but kept his grip tight. "We can't help Beckett if we're dead. Go Castle, I need you out of here, now."

"What if she's in here? I can't go if she's still in here she'll die and you know it!" Castle sprung his arm loose from Esposito's grip and darted away, weaving through the metal containers like he actually knew where he was going.

If Esposito's group finished that must mean all the other groups were close to finishing along the back wall too. He skidded around a corner, lost traction and fell to his hands briefly before pushing off and running at full speed towards the wall. He could hear people weaving through containers trying to find him, but that only made him work faster.

"Kate! Kate, please answer me!" He yelled that sentence over and over again and banged on containers until he hit the last row of containers, stacked high along the back wall. He fell to his knees, and let out her name in a sob. He knew the bomb would go off any second and there was still twenty containers that had not been opened, mostly the ones stacked 3 or higher. He was quiet for a moment and heard how close the others were to him. He shook his head, tears flowing freely down his face.

"I failed you Kate. I promised myself nothing could ever, ever happen while I was here for you. And here we are now. I'm sorry Kate, I'm so, so sorry." At that moment, Ryan turned a corner and saw Castle on the floor. He ran to him, and grabbed him by the shoulders, heaving him to his feet.

"There's nothing you can do! There's nothing we can do! This bomb's going off whether you like it or not and we need to get clear!" He turned his back to Castle and, cupping his hands over his mouth, yelled at the top of his lungs, "I have him, everyone get out! This place is going to be up in flames at any moment!"

While Ryan had turned his back, Castle just stood against the container, a metal bolt biting into the middle of his back, but he didn't care enough to move. The container shook slightly and Castle looked up from the ground and wiped his tears from his face. He grabbed Ryan and threw a hand against his mouth.

"Stay quiet!" he hissed. Ryan's eyes grew wide and filled with confusion. The container next to them gave a soft noise. Ryan's hand shot up and tore Castles own from his mouth. They stood there for a brief moment before bolting around the corner to the door. Castle grabbed the bolt that lay across the openings and pulled with all of his might. The metal gave way with a loud groan and Ryan pulled on the doors.

In the smallest container, the floor missing lay Kate. She was barely conscious and trying to move her arms and legs so that they barely tapped the walls. Her hair was matted with dirt and blood, along with most of her body. Her face was scratched and filthy, except for the obvious path her tears had taken down her cheeks. She stopped moving as soon as the door opened and looked into the bright light, eyes filled with fear and sadness. Castle ran to her side within a split second and cupped her face. He began to try to undo the shackles that left Kate died down, but couldn't.

He turned to Ryan who was doing the same thing to her feet. He reached within his jacket and pulled out a pair of what seemed to be pliers and starting working on her left ankles prison.

"Kate, love, it's going to be okay. I'm going to get you out of here I promise. Oh God, Kate." Her eyes were filled with confusion as she tried to focus on Castle. A soft moan escaped her lips and another tear ran down her cheek. He couldn't tell if she realized he was actually here or if her mind was playing tricks on her. It broke his heart.

He looked back down at Ryan who was working frantically on her wrists now that her legs were free. Within a second those were free and he handed the tool to Castle, who plowed through the last chain faster than Ryan had.

He knew they didn't have much time, if any at all. He scooped Kate up into his arms and followed Ryan running as fast as he could towards the one entrance that could lead them to continue their lives. Esposito was yelling from the door which had just come into sight, more than a thousand feet away. Ryan slowed and Castle twisted his head to look at him. Ryan grabbed his arm and shoved them into a container. Ryan twisted his body to cover Kate, who was still passed out. Castle met his eyes, nodded silently, and covered the rest of Kate with his own body.

The explosion ripped through the container it was in, sending shards of heated metal shooting through the warehouse. Hot fire spread engulfing everything in its path. The last thing Ryan and Castle heard was the noise of the bomb, and then everything went black.


	7. Chapter 7

Okay guys :) Thank you all for the reviews and alerts on this silly little story, it really means a lot.

To LittleLizzieZentara: That is the best idea, pretty much ever. I might just do a one-shot off of that. Its too good to leave alone.

The next section might have a trigger warning. I didn't want to deal with it in this chapter, but it will be dealt with eventually.

As always, enjoy!

Esposito's heart jumped in his chest as the explosion started at the back of the warehouse. He turned on his heel and jumped behind the last cop vehicle that was standing by the warehouse. The shock wave for the explosion shot him forward and slightly past the car he was aiming for. His face hit the ground and he groaned in pain. His ears were still ringing when he tried to sit up a moment after words. He took his phone out of his pocket, groaned when he say the cracked screen but was relieved that it still turned on. He called the SWAT team, trying to keep his voice calm and told them to get the fire department and paramedics here within a minute.

After the call, he poked his head around the lower part of the car. His heart stopped in his chest. The building was in flames, pieces missing and lying yards away. The roof was caved in at places, mostly along the back where the explosion had started. He took of his coat and covered his mouth and picked his way over the rubble of the building. As he reached where the door once stood he looked in horror at the twisted and heated metal of the containers. He knew how far his friends had made it before they jumped into a lower container. He started to make his way over the remains of the room, coughing because of the thick black and grey smoke. It took him over two minutes to make his way over to the container which he should have been able to reach within thirty seconds. He started hearing sirens from fire trucks outside. He knew he shouldn't be in here but it didn't matter to him at all. He reached for the container door, using his jacket to stop himself from being burned. Inside he saw how crippled the other sides of the block were. Lying on the ground were Castle, Beckett, and Ryan.

A cough woke Esposito from the frozen look of fear that had stretched across his face. Ryan had twisted his head and was coughing into his shoulder. Within that second, Esposito was being pulled from his line of view and dragged out of the reckage. He was placed inside of a car with a paramedic standing in front of him.

Stretchers were being brought out of the warehouse and three bodies, seemingly unmoving, were placed into multiple ambulances. Esposito coughed and tried to stand up, but a strong hand forced him back down. He looked up into the eyes of one of the SWAT members.

"Do you even realize how lucky you are to be alive? Hell, how lucky your friends are?" He shook his head in amazement. "I've never seen anything like it. Someone up there must be watching out for you all. There's a few tests the doctors want to run on you so someone will be over shortly to drive you to a hospital. Just… stay put okay? I know you want to run over there and hitch a ride with your friends but no one knows what might happen."

Esposito locked eyes with him and saw the strangers sincerity. He nodded once then looked over where his friends were driving off.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Castle hissed at the pain in his wrist as the doctors pulled out multiple small chunks of metal and other debris from his flesh. He watched them bandage up the hand and apply burn ointment to the other. He was luck to only get a second-degree burn from the blast, he had heard that Ryan had gotten a few third-degree burns that would leave spots on his arms and neck that would always be scarred. No one would tell him how Kate was.

Lanie sat next to Esposito in the waiting room, wishing for answers. Across from them was Martha and Alexis, eyes red-rimmed and noses pink. Kate's dad was sure to be here soon and Lanie feared that confrontation more than anything else. She couldn't imagine having your only daughter brought in after an explosion like that. After a few minutes of silence, Lanie looked up to see Castle walking passed the corner into the waiting room.

"Dad!" "Richard!" both rang out at the same time, and his family jumped to their feet and ran to him. Keeping his injured hands raised above him, both women went in for hugs, tears freely falling down Alexis' face.

"I'm okay guys, I'm okay. Please don't worry, I'm here." He placed a kiss on top of Alexis head and one on Martha's cheek. He smiled, but it was pained and forced.

"Is there any news?" His eyes were so hopeful, pleading that the evil thoughts that had been lodged into his mind were false. Both Lanie and Esposito shook their heads. Castles face crumpled. He pulled his family into chairs and sat in between them. He ran his hand through his hair and let out a soft sigh.

"Where is she at?"

"She's getting examined by doctors. She had some serious wounds from her kidnapping before the bomb went off. The doctors say all the wounds will heal so far, but we have no idea how much mental damage she has had yet. I…Kate's strong. She's been like that from the moment I met her. I just don't know how she's going to be after this." Lanie's eyes were threatening to overflow with tears. "She's going to need you Castle. More than I think you know. She's going to fight you tooth and nail on it, but she can't do this alone."

Castle looked at her, brow furrowed as he processed the information. He needed Kate. Needed her more than anyone really knew. He was his world, but they had never taken any steps in the direction he wanted. He was just the "plucky sidekick" who fell for his partner, head over heels. No one knew how badly he had wanted to kiss her after everything that had been through before. The sun rose and set around Katherine Beckett.

Before Castle could say anything, a doctor rounded the corner, his eyes searching the waiting room. Lanie stood up and rushed to him, Castle following closely behind.

"Kate? Is she okay?" Lanie's voice was high pitched and worry-filled. The doctor gave a small smile.

"She's going to be okay. She's asking for you specifically. I am assuming you are her friend Lanie, right?" Lanie nodded quickly. "She wants to speak to you privately before any other visitors come in."

It had been almost two days since Lanie had seen Kate. Almost 4 hours since she had been brought in. She followed the doctor down the white hall, heels clicking a steady rthym. Kate's room was five doors down from the waiting room. As Lanie turned in her hand rushed up to cover her mouth.

Kate had never been in worse shape. She had cuts, bandages covering burns, and bruises on her face and the rest of her exposed body. She was staring dully ahead, not taking in her surroundings at all.

"Kate?" Lanie said, her voice just above a whisper. Her head turned to look at her best friend. She gave a little smile before she burst into tears. Lanie was at her bedside within an instant. She held Kate's hand and let her friend cry on her shoulder. It took ten minutes for Kate to calm down enough to speak, and when she did, her voice was raspy and soft.

"Lanie…oh god, I thought I was going to die. I just accepted it. It was so terrifying. No one ever really tells you how absolutely horrifying to not be able to do anything while…while these monsters do whatever they please."

Lanie stared at her face. She couldn't possibly mean…oh god.

"Did they…did they do something worse than what I see?" Kate nodded and looked away. Her hand caught the edge of the pale blue blanket and pulled up the material so that her left leg showed. She lifted her gown and showed the bandage that covered the word that would forever haunt her, awake or asleep. Lanie peeled off the corner and looked in horror at the word carved deeply into her best friends leg. She felt a tear slide down her cheek and quickly brushed it away.

"Lanie, they did…things to me. Things I wouldn't wish on anyone." Her voice caught and Lanie reached for her hand and gave it a light squeeze. "There were two men. They hurt me Lanie. They raped me." After saying the last sentence, Kate burst into tears again. Lanie looked horrified. Tears welled in her eyes as she held her crying friend. Kate had been strong. Too strong for her own damned good, and she knew it. Seeing her broken like this…it was shocking. She never thought this day would come. The day Kate Beckett gave in to someone and they had broken her walls down in a single blow.


	8. Chapter 8

Thank you to everyone who put this story on alert and gave lovely reviews. It always makes my day a whole lot better to see how much people enjoy my crazy little idea.

This chapter isn't HORRIBLY interesting, but it needs to be written and read so I can move on with the good juicy stuff.

As always, enjoy!

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kate had fallen asleep after the doctors gave her some strong medicine to help with the pain; both mental and physical. Lanie sat in the chair by her bed, trying to process all the information Kate had given her. Castle will be furious. Lanie sighed and placed her head in her hands. She couldn't tell Castle herself, she needed to talk to Kate to make sure that she wanted the information to get out.

Lanie looked up to find the Kate's doctor leaning against the door frame. She stood and walked the few paces to meet him. He looked her dead in the eyes before he spoke.

"She's going to need someone to lean on. I've dealt with cases like hers, but none so severe. Most patients become withdrawn and cold to those they love because they feel used and not good enough." He ran his fingers through his hair.

"She's got people who love her; I can see that plan as day." Lanie gave a small smile. "But Kate's going to need a hell of a lot of patience from everybody. I doubt she'll be able to work for at least four months but it's more likely six months to a year. It all depends on her surroundings. Doctor Parish, do you know what the term "trigger" is?"

Lanie thought for a moment, eyebrows pinching together. No one she had ever known had been under these same conditions. She shook her head after a moment, black hair brushing in front of her face.

"It's a emotional response to an event or person that reminds a victim of something that happened to them. In this case, enclosed spaces or loud noises may set of a sort of flashback. Think of it as a type of PTSD." Lanie looked at her hands and nodded curtly.

"Thank you, doctor. How long do you think she will have to stay here? Her wounds are not deep, well, her physical ones at least."

"I want to keep her here for a few days. I know the wounds do not seem deep, but I want to make sure none become infected. I know the NYPD has a counselor set up for these types of issues, and I want to make sure she is physically ready for such an emotional treatment."

Lanie nodded again and shook his hand as he left the room. Glancing over at Kate, she noticed how dark her bruises on her face had gotten. A few along her throat and arms where already slightly yellow. Her chest rose and fell rhythmically, and every few breaths she gave a little snort. Lanie smiled at her friend. She wished that she could stay that relaxed and peaceful for the rest of her life. But fate just had other plans.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Kate could hear the footsteps coming for her. She tried to move her arms put the cold metal bit into them. She could hear his voice, coming closer and closer. Her heart starting beat faster and felt like it would come up her throat. She tried to keep the tears from rolling down her face, but she felt one slip down her cheek.

She couldn't stand other encounter with them. Her entire body was tense and sore, she couldn't move her legs the few inches that she and anymore. She wanted it to stop.

Rick had fallen asleep in the chair next to Kate's bed. He sent everyone to a hotel suite across the street from the hotel. There was no sense in making everyone sit in these back-wrenching chairs. He took the night shift because he hadn't been able to leave. No matter how hard he tried the second he got into the elevator to go to the street, his heart started beating faster and his palms grew sweaty. So he stayed. He went to shower, but he got his food delivered if he was sick of the plastic food they served in the café.

A noise startled him out his pathetic excuse for a nap. He blinked his eyes and tried to focus on his surroundings. He looked at Kate and noticed the sweat forming across her brow. She made a little noise in her sleep, a cross between a whimper and a cry. He got to his feet and touched Kate's shoulder. She tried to move away and a crease formed between her brows.

"Kate." He whispered her name softly, slightly shaking her shoulder. She let a shaky breath and continued to sleep. He shook her more forcefully and her eyes snapped open. Her eyes were wide with fear and she scooted back in her tiny bed as far as she could go. Her breathing was rapid and shaky, and it was almost as if she couldn't tell what was real or what was a dream.

"Kate? Hey, it's okay. It's just me, Rick. No one's here to hurt you." The confused look faded from her face and she closed her eyes. Rick saw her door detail peer into the room, but Castle waved him off. Looking back at Kate, he saw her head was in her hands and she was shaking.

"I'm…I'm sorry Castle. I didn't mean to wake you."

"Kate. You never need to apologize. I'm here for you, all of your friends are." Rick grabbed one her hands from her face. "You can tell me what's wrong."

"Just a bad dream. I'm sorry." She looked into his eyes and gave a weak smile. Rick felt his chest tighten. He couldn't help her. He couldn't take away the memories, the pain. He couldn't do anything but comfort her. He wanted so badly to cure all her cuts and bruises, her mental pain. But wishing doesn't change anything.

"Kate, hey, talk to me please. I don't know what happened to you besides the physical affects. Lanie wanted you to tell everyone. I guess it wasn't her story to tell."

He tried to smile up at her from his chair. She relaxed into her bed and began telling the story to Castle, pausing only to catch her breath when she started to lose control. She wanted to get this part over with. She hated being the weak one; there had been enough of this feeling with her mother's murder. The feeling of pure helplessness and not being able to control her surroundings was the one thing that made her hate life. The faster this was over with, the faster she could move on. He sat by her bed, fist clenched in front of his mouth.

"And…well you know the rest." She wiped her eyes and gave a small sniffle. "You have no idea how hard it is to sleep." She gave a small half-hearted chuckle and ran her fingers through her hair. "I keep hearing his voice. I don't know what to do in all honesty. I just need to power through this. There's nothing more for me to do."

Rick just stared at her. He had never seen her so…he couldn't even describe it. She wanted to seem strong, but since he was the one who had seen her dream, maybe she just wanted to get the story part out of the way. It was just not the Kate he knew.

"Kate, I will be here for you. There is not a chance in hell that I'm going to lose you again." His voice was blunt and to the point. He wanted her to know the truth even though he was concerned about her actions.

Her eyes grew wide and she just stared at him. She didn't even consider that. How could she not have seen it? He must have been terrified. Kate groaned inwardly as she thought of how she would have felt if the situation was reversed. She would have been hysterical knowing that the man she…cared for was in danger. She didn't think too deep into how her brain began to process that last sentence.

"Castle, I'm not going anywhere." She held out her hand and he took it. He brought the palm up to his mouth and placed a single kiss. Kate lightly flinched but Castle was too deep into his own world to notice.


	9. Chapter 9

Kate was released from the hospital a week later, under strict rules. She couldn't return to work for at least two months only after she went to counseling and passed another psych exam. Her wounds were starting to finish healing and the bruises were almost faded into oblivion. Castle had stayed with her in the hospital for most of the week, reading to her and sneaking in food that was actually edible. She enjoyed the company and the ability to forget about the past, even for a little bit.

She still had night terrors. Castle always went home at night and she didn't want to worry him any more than she already had. Kate felt this cloud of guilt every time she saw Castle. He had lost weight and had bags the size of quarters under his eyes. She hated putting him through this.

But she needed someone.

Castle was beside her as she signed out of the hospital. She glared at the nurse with the wheelchair and stalked off towards the elevator.

"Kate. Hey, wait!" Castle trotted behind her, keeping up with her long, forceful strides.

"Castle, all I want right now is a hot bath and a cup of coffee. If that's okay with you." She didn't need to meet Castle's eye to know he wore a confused expression on his face.

"Uh, yeah. Of course Kate." The elevator dinged and they both stepped into the small room.

"I'm sorry." Kate looked at her boots and ran a hand through her hair. "You didn't deserve that. I…I'm just tired. And I just need to be home and relax and try to move on. As best as I can." She glanced up to his tired face. She put on a smile and gave his hand a squeeze. "I'll call you when I've sorted everything out okay? I promise."

His eyes were still filled with concern and he obviously didn't buy into what she said.

"Kate. I'm here for you whenever you need me, okay? Please, just don't try to hide too much."

She nodded and dropped his hand.

It had been two weeks since Rick heard from Kate. Two weeks of silence. Two weeks of torture. He didn't know if she found someone else to confide in or if she had a mental breakdown and hasn't left her apartment. He almost called her counselor but thought that would be too far. He didn't want to push her away even more.

He couldn't deal with the radio silence though. It was killing him. He had both his cell phone and landline checked, but they were both fine. He could barely sleep and had to double check to see if he had any missed calls in the middle of the night.

He was a lovesick teenager. Martha had noticed the sad kicked puppy look that Rick had worn around the loft.

But nothing he could do would change that fact that Kate wasn't calling him.

Castle had been staring at his ceiling for two hours. No matter how many pillows and how high the thread count his sheets, his brain hardly shut off.

He was floating between the living and the sleeping when his phone gave out a noise. His brows furrowed as he tried to wake up. His hand slapped around his nightstand and found his phone.

"…ello?"

He heard a small sniffle and a quiet voice said," Hey Castle." He sat up quickly and leaned against his headboard.

"Kate? Are you okay?" His toned was worried and rushed.

"I…I had a dream."

"Oh Kate…I'm glad you called. I'll be there in fifteen."

"You don't have to Castle. I just needed to talk to someone." But Castle wasn't listening. He had already sprung from his bed and was grabbing clothes from his closet, trying to keep his phone from falling by squeezing it between his shoulder and ear.

"I want to Kate. I'll see you in a bit." He heard a heavy sigh and a quite okay. He hung up and slipped on a white shirt. He padded out of his room and to the kitchen. He scribbled a note on a post-it and left it on the counter. There was no need to worry Martha and Alexis if they woke before he came home.

His driver got to Kate's apartment within ten minutes. He took the stairs two at a time and knocked loudly on her door.

Kate opened the door dressed in a small black tank top and baby blue work out shorts. Her hair was pulled back into a messy bun, with a few pieces of hair floating in front of her face. The circles under her eyes were the darkest he had ever seen her have. He couldn't tell if she had slept in the last few days or not. She gave him a small smile which never really reached her eyes.

"Hey."

"Hey."

They stood there for a moment just looking at each other. Kate moved aside and let him into her apartment. He grabbed her hand and pulled to the couch. She curled up with her knees to her chest. He crossed his legs and started at her. She dropped her eyes and started intently at her feet.

"It was just a dream Castle. I have them all the time it's just…different this time. I don't know I can't explain it well." She started wringing her hands together in front of legs. "I just couldn't shake this one."

"What was different? Why did this one stick with you?"

"It…it wasn't what happened before. You were there. But so was he. And you fought each other. And you didn't save me. I couldn't save myself." Her voiced drifted off and she glanced up to meet Castle's stunned face. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called you. It was stupid." She gave a small chuckle and wiped under her eyes.

"Kate. There is no reason to apologize to me. I told you I was here for you whenever you needed it. Even if it's in the middle of the night and all I just get to hold you until you fall asleep. I don't care."

Kate's eyes shut and her eyebrows furrowed together. She took calming breaths before opening her eyes to meet Castle's. Her eyes had begun to fill with tears and as soon as their eyes met they overflowed.

"I'm so sorry Castle. I never wanted to hurt you like this. It's all my fault."

He grabbed her hand and spoke gruffly to her. "Kate, what happened to you was not your fault. It was the man who thought he could take down the strongest woman I know. It was the man who tried to use your body against you. But you beat him. You survived. You can continue to live the life that you were meant to. Catching bad guys and being my muse. You never hurt me, he did. You need to stop blaming yourself."

He pulled her to his chest and felt her begin to cry into his shoulder. He stroked her back for a long time before he noticed the tears had stopped and her breathing had become even. He looked down at with a mixture of sadness and happiness. He slid one hand underneath both of her legs and balanced her as he stood up. Kate curled into his neck as he walked into her bedroom. She slid into bed and Castle pulled the blankets over her. He went around to the other side of the bed and grabbed a pillow. There was no way he could leave her like this, so the couch would be the best place for him for the rest of the night.

He had just fallen asleep when there was a noise from Kate's bedroom. He sat up and listened for any sign of Kate waking. After a moment he heard a loud thump and the noise of feet on hardwood floors. The bathroom door slammed shut a minute later.

Rick got to his feet and silently walked into Kate's room, trying to listen for any sign of her being truly upset. When he got to the bathroom door he knew she was there. A soft yellow light gleamed from underneath the door and, after pressing an ear against the cool wood, he could hear her crying.

"Kate? Hey are you okay? What's wrong?"

Silence answered him. He tried pushing his luck. He knocked quietly twice on the door and said her name a little louder. After a moment he hear the sink turn on, then off. The door made a clicking noise as she unlocked it.

He was faced with another red-faced Kate Beckett. The roots of her hair were damp from the water she had splashed on her face. She tried to nudge past Castle and return to her bed but Castle grabbed her arm and spun her around.

The second he did that and saw the look that played across her face he knew that it was a bad move. Her eyes were wide and her breath picked up speed. She tried to yank her arm free from his grasp and started uttering loud, scrambled words that made no sense to Castle.

"Kate! Hey it's just me!" He released her arm and she took a few steps back. She raised a hand to her face and pinched the bridge of her nose. He didn't say anything for a few minutes while she focused.

"I…I'm sorry Castle. The dream I had was just bad. I want to stop scaring you. I really do, but it's only been a few weeks. I'm going to get triggered. I've learned that after a few sessions with my doctor. This isn't the first time I've had to deal with this. Usually I'm alone, but since you're here I wouldn't mind having the company."

Castle stood there confused. She was trying to compartmentalize things. And she was damn good at it. But pushing her wouldn't solve any of her problems. It would only make things worse and Castle didn't need that.

"Kate. What can I do to help? Name it. I'll do whatever you need me to do."

Kate just held out her hand with an unreadable face. Castle took it carefully as if she was made of glass. Kate must have sensed his hesitation.

"I'm not going to break. I just need someone to be here for me if I wake up. There's not many people I trust to help with this and I just want you here, okay?"

He nodded slowly and followed her into her room. She pulled back her sheets and crawled into the right side of her bed. Castle sat down on the left side and stared at her. These actions were so unlike her. But this seemed to be a reoccurring theme. He laid down on his back and stared at the ceiling. Kate sat up on her elbow and raised an eyebrow at his awkward appearance.

He looked over at her and smiled. He rolled over and stared into her eyes.

"Sleep well Kate."

"You too, Rick."


	10. Chapter 10

_Sorry for the wait guys! I had midterms to study for! Hope you like the next chapter! R&R!_

Kate was the first to wake the next morning. Since they had a late night, she was able to sleep until nine. Actually sleep. No nightmares, no tossing and turning. She began to realize how this sleep was possible for her. In the middle of the night Rick had shifted towards her. Without opening her eyes, she could feel the weight of his arm across her lower back and the gentle rise and fall of his chest as she lay on it. She had not been this comfortable with anyone before. Especially since her kidnapping. How was she not freaking out? Instead of wanting to hyperventilate and cry, she really just wanted to snuggle down into the sheets and fall back asleep.

She curled her hand in his shirt and closed her eyes again. She didn't fall asleep, instead she just tried to work out what she wanted to do in her mind.

She wasn't able to lay there for long because Castle started shifting underneath her. She stilled and kept her eyes closed. She wanted to see how he reacted before anything. She heard his breath catch but he didn't move. The hand on her back began to make circles on the small of her back. Then he began to stroke up and down her spine.

"Castle, if you put your hand any lower I'll break all the bones."

He let out a deep chuckle. He removed his hand from her lower back and Kate turned her head to rest it on her hands. They stayed looking into each others eyes for a moment before Kate looked away, her face getting red.

"Is the great Kate Beckett blushing?" Castle said with a grin.

She rolled over in her bed and grabbed a robe from the chair by her bed. She quickly wrapped it around her body and glared at Castle over her shoulder before stalking off to the bathroom.

"Wait, Kate. Come back." He leaned on his elbows and stared at the bathroom door. Had he actually upset her? He flopped back down on the bed and stared at the ceiling once again. After a moment he jumped up and walked to the kitchen. He could at least make breakfast for her to make everything a little better.

Kate sat on the lid of her toilet with her hands buried into her thick brown hair. She wasn't ready for this. The second he actually woke up and began to talk to her, her heart sped up and her palms began to coat in sweat. But she didn't have a panic attack. She thought back to when she first woke up and realized after a second that she was biting her lip and smiling.

What. She stood quickly and turned to the mirror. She placed her hands on the sink and looked herself in the eye. She told herself in the mirror, "Kate. You do not like Castle. He's a massive pain in your ass and he's always getting into trouble. He wrote a book based off you and now everybody knows your name. You do NOT like him." She splashed cold water on her face and toweled it dry. She was going insane. That's the only explanation.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

After Castle served Kate her breakfast, pancakes with slices of banana, he told her to get in the shower and change into something comfortable. He was cleaning off the pans and dishes in the kitchen and continued to plot for the day.

After twenty minutes Kate came out of her room to find Castle stretched out on her couch with his nose in a book. She smiled and cleared her throat. Castle looked up and grinned at her outfit.

She had her hair half pulled back, exposing more of her face. She had a Star Wars t-shirt on paired with dark skinny jeans.

"Star Wars? Really?" His smile was contagious as he stared at her.

"Yes Castle. Star Wars, I happen to love it. And I really don't get a chance to wear this often and you did say comfortable…I can change if you want."

He jumped up and grabbed his stuff from around the room while saying, "No way Kate. It looks great on you. It's perfect for what I have in mind. Although grab a jacket, just in case." He grinned slyly at her.

Oh boy. Kate was in for one hell of a day.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Castle was leading Kate around town trying to distract her as much as possible. They had taken a taxi to the Upper East Side and had been walking around. Kate had refused to allow Castle to buy her anything at the expensive stores.

"Castle I would never, ever wear these things to work. I'll just end up ruining them somehow."

Kate noticed how fast his face had dropped. She wanted to be truthful and not just waste his money, but he seemed more hurt than she had expected.

"Okay Castle, here's the deal. You can buy me one thing. You seem to have a knack for finding me a great dress. I will accept this ONE thing to wear to your next book party, only if I can get lunch." She quirked an eyebrow at him and tried not to laugh at his over exaggerated thinking face.

"Fine. But I'm not happy!" He shook a finger at her and glared. She tried to hide a smile but failed. He grabbed her hand and flung her into the nearest store with him.

Castle stalked the store while Kate just stood in the center of the small store amused. It took him less than five minutes to fling a dress at her and she smiled at him.

It was a deep blue, made of a light silk that touched the floor. It had a deep v that stopped six inches from her collarbone. She gave a small laugh when she realized how low it was. Of course. Leave to a guy to pick a low cut dress like this for her. But it did fit like a glove. It showed just enough skin to be provocative but not trashy.

The second she stepped out from the changing room, she almost laughed at the look at Castle's face. His mouth hung open for a second as he raked his eyes done her body. She almost felt uncomfortable, but it almost gave her a weird sense of power. It was the first time she had felt this way in weeks. Her eyes narrowed for a split second and the glint in her eye intensified.

"Like what you see Castle?" His mouth opened and closed a few times before he strangled out a "we are getting that dress". She gave a throaty laugh and flung her head back. He stood up from his cushioned seat and came to stand next to her. He reached out and pressed the fabric around her collarbone between his fingers.

"I need to get out of the Castle." Kate couldn't look him in the eye but she could feel his breath. She turned away quickly and rushed into her changing room.

Castle was left staring at the door. He shouldn't have done that. He was not a twelve year old boy anymore. There is no way Kate could be ready for contact like this.

He rubbed his brows and walked towards the counter to purchase the dress.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I can't believe you dumped coffee everywhere Castle. This is why you can't have nice things." She glanced over her shoulder and grinned at his annoyed expression. She put her bag on the counter and draped the dress in its plastic container over one of the chairs. He grumbled as he walked past her into his room.

Kate began to grab pots from underneath Castles sink and filled them with water. The pasta was exactly where he told her it would be in the cabinet. She set it down next to the stove and moved to make sauce.

Meanwhile Castle had peeled off his shirt and stood in front of his dresser. He grabbed a plain black v neck and threw it over his head as he started to walk back to the living room. He was almost through his office when he heard a loud crash followed by a loud cry and a string of curse words.

As he turned the corner, socks trying to gain traction on the wood floor, he saw Kate with her knees to her chest.

There were tears streaming down her face as she cluched her left hand to her chest.

"Kate! Oh my God, Kate. What happened are you hurt badly?" Her eyes were closed as she tried to calm her breathing down.

"The jar…it fell off the counter and scared me…when I jumped…the water poured on my hand…"

Rick brought his hands to cup her face and tried to wipe the tears from her face. She shivered slightly under his touch. He gently took her hand from her and looked at the burns. The water had reached boiling, but it still left her hand bright red with parts already starting to blister.

She couldn't get a break. The glass of the pasta sauce jar shattering had reminded her of what had happened. What she would never be able to forget. Now her hand was proof of something she could never overcome.

How could she be the same? She wanted to be strong again. All she really wanted to do was crawl in her bed and sleep for days.

Her already destroyed walls were crumbling further as she tried to no avail to stack those bricks back up.

_Its my birthday Friday, you all should review ;D I hope you enjoyed this one!_


	11. Chapter 11

Castle rushed her to the bathroom and turned on the water as cold as it would go. He gently placed her hand under the stream and watched as her face went from complete pain to having a touch of relief.

"Kate…your clothes. They're soaked through. I can give you some to wear to the hospital, but I can't let you go outside like this."

She looked down at her shirt, realizing he was right. The water had poured down her arm and splashed around her knees. Burns that she knew were there were being drowned out by the throbbing of her hand.

"Yeah Castle. I'd appreciate that." She didn't look up at him but she could feel his eyes staring at the side of her face. He gave a light sigh and walked out of the room. Within a few minutes he was back at her side, holding a pair of his sweats and a light grey tank top.

"Are you going to need help getting changed? I promise I won't look." She closed her eyes and gave a small laugh.

"Castle, I think I can handle this one. But I'll call if I need you, promise."

She tried using one arm to take the shirt off while keeping the other under the water. She managed to get her head through the hole so that the shirt hung loosely on her arm. Her carefully pulled the shirt through her burned hand, gasping loudly when the material scraped across it. Castle opened the door at the noise and quickly slapped his hand over his eyes.

"Sorry! Sorry! I thought something had happened!" Kate couldn't help with give a small laugh at his actions.

"Castle it's okay. Just hand me the shirt okay? I probably need the help or I'll take too long."

He uncovered his eyes and reached for the shirt which was placed on the lid of the toilet. Kate was surprised that it took him so long to notice her body.

Castle's eyes traveled along the mostly healed scratches along her abdomen and back. Many had healed and had left blinding white scars. Kate subconsciously placed her right hand across her stomach.

"Can I just have the shirt Castle." Her voice was low and soft but pierced Castle's heart. He wanted to make those scars disappear for her so badly. The shirt slid over her skin within a second, Kate not caring about the pain.

Castle knelt down in front of her had unbuttoned her jeans. Neither one of them had pictured this being the first time that he saw Kate practically naked, but neither voiced their thoughts. Her pants slid down her legs quickly and she stepped out of them. Kate didn't want Castle to see her thigh and the wound that had not finished healing so she turned her body quickly. Castle helped her into the sweats and left the room quickly, leaving Kate slightly confused.

She couldn't fix her body but she didn't think that the scars where that repulsive. He was supposed to be there for her, but instead she stood in from of a mirror with a burned hand. She turned off the water and quickly walked into the kitchen. Castle was there, filling a large bowl with ice. He turned to her and thrusted the bowl at her.

"Just stick your hand in the ice. I'll grab your things." Kate stood there in the middle of his kitchen, a confused look playing across her features.

"What's wrong Kate?" She looked down and her hand in the ice.

"Nothing really. I just thought you left, or something. I don't know." The tone of her voice was something Castle had never heard her use before. He couldn't figure out exactly what it meant, but he knew it couldn't be good.

He walked up to her and stood within inches of her face. One of his hands came up to brush her jaw line and rested gently on her shoulder. She shivered slightly.

"Kate. I would never, ever leave you. Okay? Never." She gave a small nod and when he turned his back on her she used her arm to brush tears that had fallen from her face.

XXXXXXXX

The hospital had wrapped Kate's hand up quickly after putting on heavy ointment. As Castle had thought, it was a second degree major burn. The nurse gave her a prescription for her hand and told her to get burn lotion from a store for the small patches along her body.

They were back in a taxi within an hour. Castle was watching Kate carefully out of the corner of his eyes. The taxi driver asked where they wanted to be dropped off at, and Kate glanced over at Castle.

"I'll make sundaes if you come to my place." Castle gave her a smile and Kate nodded. He gave the driver the address and they rode in silence all the way there.

Castle paid for the taxi while Kate stood by his buildings front door, talking the doorman who had questioned about her hand. He smiled at them both before looping his arm around Kate's. They still hadn't spoken to each other when he opened the door to the loft.

Kate made her way to the kitchen and sat down on one of the chairs, her eyes following Castle's every move throughout the room. Within minutes, he had a assembly line style lineup of food ready to be made.

"So where is Alexis tonight?" her voice holding steady even though Castle knew the pain she must be in.

"She was at school but she texted me a few hours ago asking if she could stay with one of her friends and go to a party tonight. Since I knew you were going to be here, I figured I would say yes." He gave her a small smile and watched as her eyes dropped from his face to the ice cream she had dumped in her bowl.

"That sounds fun for her. And I guess it worked out with me being so clumsy and all." She gave a small smile as she held up her bandaged hand.

"What's life without a few adventures? Come on lets watch a movie shall we?" Castle picked up his huge ice cream and made his way over to the couch. He could hear Kate's feet padding lightly behind him.

"What are you in the mood for?" Kate sighed and chewed on her low lip of a moment before responding with "Something scary."

Castle looked back at her and grinned ear to ear. He pulled out of movie from the shelf and placed it in the player, being careful not to show her any part with a title.

Soon the title screen appeared with the large letters "The Silence of the Lambs" hanging in the screen.

Kate smiled and snuggled into the sofa and continued to eat her ice cream.

By the time the movie finished, it had passed six o'clock. About three quarters of the way through the film, Kate had fallen asleep. She lay with her hands on her lap and her head nearly touching Castles shoulder.

He had been starting at her for quite a while. He noticed the while lines and spots on her arms and neck where scars have been left, permanently etched on her white skin. Her hair had cascaded down her shoulder in soft waves and the strands glowed in the light of the movie. She was so beautiful and so fragile and all Castle wanted to do was hold her until everything in the world was better. He wanted was to protect her, but the roles almost always ended up reversed.

He made a decision and decided to act on it before his mind tried to convince him otherwise. Carefully, he shifted Kate's shoulders until she slid down the back of the sofa and landed with her head on Castle's lap. She made a small noise in the back of her throat and turned her face to castle and snuggled into his shirt. Her feet moved to stretch out on the newly found length of sofa.

Castle raised a hand and stroked Kate's hair softly. He leaned his head against the back of the sofa and closed his eyes.

It had been a stressful day for both of them. Castle couldn't remember the last time he was this emotionally drained. All he wanted to do was focus on the warm, breathing body in his lap.

_Sorry for the shortness of this chapter. Life's been keeping me quite busy!_

_Reviews make my day! :3_


	12. Chapter 12

Kate was first to wake after two hours of peaceful napping. Castle moving her made Kate wake up confused of her surroundings. She turned her head to the left and say Castle's face, relaxed without the worry lines she had almost become used to. He looked so much younger. So much happier.

Why did she come here? She couldn't give Castle what he wanted. He deserves someone without the emotional trauma and abuse she had been through. Someone whole and capable of love.

Was she capable of love anymore? So much had happened, but she wanted to keep the small flame in her heart that kept her whole body warm. The light that was filled with a small glimmer of hope in a world she had grown used to being so dark.

She felt tears roll down her face and wiped them away with the back of her hand. She took a deep breath and held it for a moment. The air escaped from her lungs in small bursts. She glanced one more time at Castle before sitting up and stood in the middle of the living room.

She didn't want to go home and be alone, but she didn't want to stay here and be useless. She grabbed the two almost empty bowls, ice cream melted at the bottom and mixed with the chocolate sauce that had dried everywhere. Walking to the kitchen, she realized how much it hurt to hold the second glass so she dropped it on the counter as soon as she reached it.

The clatter made Castle wake up. He noted that the spot where Kate's head had rested was still warm and he smiled slightly. Craning his neck, he saw Kate in the kitchen washing the dishes. Her hair was standing up slightly in the back and it made Castle smile even wider.

He walked up to Kate and cleared his throat and moved closer to her. She spun around quickly with a startled look across her features and Castle ran into her body. He had planned on hugging her but ended up with their noses pressed together.

Kate's eyes grew wide but she didn't move. She was savoring the feeling of his body pressed against hers. She opened her mouth to say something but Castle stopped her.

"Kate. Don't move. Please. Just listen to me." His voice was low but pleading. The feel of his warm breath sweeping over her lips and face had almost paralyzed her. She gave a small nod.

"I know you're hurting. Psychically and emotionally. I can't pretend to imagine what's running through that mind of yours. But I know what's been playing over and over again in mine. I want you, Kate. I can't pretend that I don't anymore. Watching you almost die in my arms was more than terrifying. I don't want to waste time with you anymore.

I know you're going to need time. What those assholes did to you makes me want to kill them personally. But please Kate, just come to me. Don't end up in the arms of some other guy. I don't know what I would do without you. I know you trust me. You don't trust many people. That has to be a good sign. My entire family sees it, it's not just in my imagination.

Please, just be mine."

The last words were choked out through his mouth. Kate stared into his eyes, crystal clear but almost overflowing with tears. She reached up to brush against his stubble on his cheek and let it rest there. She didn't know what to say. It was almost as if he had read her mind and what she wanted to do. She wanted to run so bad.

Why did life have to be so complicated?

"Castle, I can't promise anything. I do trust you, more than any other man. But I've been broken open. I don't want you to put your life on hold to wait for me. You would be happier with someone who can give you these things now. Not me."

She broke the contact they had. She tried to move away from being pinned against the counter and Castle's body. Castle placed his hands on both sides of her face and forced her to look back into his face.

"Kate, I would wait until the end of the universe if it meant just one day with you."

Kate let a small gasp escape from her lips and tears made their way down her face. Castle placed a gentle kiss on her forehead and let her go. She stood there for a minute before moving away.

"I do need time. I don't want to half-ass whatever this may become. And I can't give it my all while I am this messed up. I don't want to lose you. You're my best friend. What happens if this doesn't work out? How can you be willing to risk this? I don't think I can. I…I need time."

"I will wait for you. This will work. Some people don't ever meet their soul mate. But the second I saw you, I knew there was something special about you. It didn't take me long to figure it out. I need you to take a jump with me."

She nodded and said, "Just give me some time, okay?" She grabbed her things from around the room while Castle watched her.

"I'll just talk to you in a bit, okay?"

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Castle never brought up their conversation when he saw her. In the next month, they met at least once a week. Kate told him about therapy, Castle told her about Alexis and Martha. Neither looked too closely at their relationship.

Sometimes they met in museums, sometimes at coffee shops, but mostly in the park. They walked around, coffee in hand, and usually ended up at the zoo. They talked aimlessly about the beasts, the screaming kids, and sugary food.

Sometimes Castle felt like they were dating. But without the titles or the touching. He had surprised himself by not really caring that much. Kate didn't run like he thought she might. She had stayed with him and his family even though Castle laid out all the cards on the table. He knew he couldn't bring himself to push for more, not until she was cleared for duty again.

Castle's favorite times with Kate was when she let her guard down. He had taken her ice skating one day, under the strict conditions that she stayed along the wall. She was so close to being able to go back to work that he didn't want to risk it, but Kate promised she would be fine. The first time she landed on her ass Castle's heart stopped. He had been trying to lap her and was on the other side of the rink when she went down. Ignoring the protests from the people around him, he cut diagonally across the rink and skidded to a stop in front of her.

"Kate, are you okay? Oh my God we shouldn't have done this. The doctor is going to be so mad at me if you got hurt and…"

To his amazement, she started to laugh. What had started as a light chuckle had turned into a massive fit for Kate and soon could barely breathe.

"Cas…I'm sorry. But your face was priceless. I haven't gone skating for quite a while and my blade snagged on one of the ridges. I'm fine, promise." She was taking in deep breaths around her words to quite her deep laughter. Castle swatted her shoulder then held an open hand out to her. She grabbed it quickly and together they hoisted her to her feet.

That was one of the moments where he saw a glimpse of what could be. How much fun they could have as a couple and how much laughter would be shared between them. Kate didn't laugh as much as Castle would have liked, but that would soon change.

It had been two months, twelve days, and four hours since Kate had been rescued. Her therapist had allowed her to return to duty but warned of PTSD. Kate knew that it was a serious problem but she was just too thrilled to return to some sort of normalcy.

But she also knew she had to come to terms with Castle's speech. Kate could ignore it while she was still healing, but now that she was free there was a higher chance that Castle would be more persistent.

She cleared her head as she walked into the precinct. As she turned the corner she was greeted by a small bouquet of flowers and a balloon with cartoon monkey that had the lettering "Great Job!" next to it. She gave out a small bark of laugher which brought her to the attention of the entire room. Everyone stared at her for a moment before clapping and saying hello. She greeted everyone warmly then turned to Ryan and Esposito. She looked into Gates' office before pulling them both into hugs.

Both men exchanged looks after the affection, which was not particularly like Beckett. They watched her walk into the office and get cleared by Gates for duty.

She had picked a bad day to start. The streets were silent, everyone at peace with one another. So Kate spent the day huffing around the precinct, helping the boys with leftover paperwork and having them fill her in on the cases she had missed. When the clock finally dragged its hands over to five, she stood to leave.

"Call me if we get anything."

Both men nodded and waved her off. No need to keep her here staring at a wall. Kate knew where she should go, but sat in her car for fifteen minutes thinking about it anyway.

Was she ready for this? Ready to try not to screw up the best relationship she had ever had? Was she ready to let another man touch her again?

The longer she thought about it, the worse her thoughts became. She threw her car into drive and pulled out into the traffic of the street. Waiting would just make it worse. So much worse, and some things were just not worth the pain.

She stood outside Castle's door for what seemed like hours. She muttered a string of curse words under her breath then rapped on the door. Alexis pulled the door open a few seconds later, a confused look on her face at the sudden appearance of Kate.

"Dad didn't tell me you were coming over." Her voice had a quality that Kate couldn't quite figure out but she didn't have time to focus on it.

"Uh, yeah I actually just need to talk to him about something." She gave a small smile at the redhead at the same time Castle pulled the door open wider.

"Kate! Oh what do I owe the pleasure?" He had a huge grin plastered on his face. He motioned to her to come in and she silently walked into the loft.

"Can we talk?" Alexis looked at her dad with an eyebrow raised but shook her head and went upstairs. Kate followed Castle into his office and stood close to him as he closed the door.

As soon as Castle had turned around, Kate placed a small, feather light kiss on his lips.

* * *

**DONT SHOOT ME. I'm sorrrrry.**

**I'm going to be super busy this month with school, work, and NaNoWriMo but I will try to update in between it all!**

**Reviews make me write faster! **


	13. Chapter 13

Castle pulled back rather quickly, leaving Kate confused.

"Kate, wait." He ran a hand through his hair. What the hell had gotten into her? "What's going on? Not that I'm not enjoying it, but why?"

Kate looked into his eyes and he saw a mix of emotions, most of which he never say play out on her face. Hurt and anger was suddenly present.

"If you can't figure out what this is, maybe I should just leave. Next time you shouldn't drag another person around." He grabbed her wrist as she tried to move past him.

"Kate, come on. You know what I mean. I just need to make sure you're ready for this. It hasn't been that long since…well, you know. I just don't want to ruin this." Tears formed in Kate's eyes as she stared at him.

"I…I just need you now. I don't want to be alone anymore. I've been beaten up, shot at, stabbed, and I just want to be able to know that someone in this whole world of sick and dark people cares about me. And I know that you do. You've made that pretty damn clear. I'm just done waiting. I'm tired of being scared Rick." She wiped under her nose with the back of her hand.

Castle knew she was still vulnerable. Anyone would be for months if not years after, but Kate was not most women. She was the dictionary definition of a badass and that's what he loved about her. He took a step toward her and noticed how her eyes widened and darkened at the same time. Her brushed his hand across her cheek and tangled it in her long hair at the base of her skull. He brought his lips to hers in short, tender kiss that left her breathless.

"Kate, never, ever, ever doubt that I care about you. I care about you more than you could ever imagine. I will do whatever it takes to make this work."

Instead of answering, she grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him down into another kiss, this one heated and full of passion. He slowly backed her against his desk and she hopped onto it, spreading her legs to make him closer. Their tongues danced over one another's and soon Castle pulled away from the kiss. Kate gave a small whimper at the loss but the noise turned into a gasp as his lips made contact with the sensitive skin at her neck. Her skin felt as if it were on fire as his hands skirted around her abdomen. Castle leaned Kate down onto the desk and continued the assault on her neck and started to move lower.

"Richard darling, do you want me to start dinner or would you rather I not burn down the building?" Martha burst into Castle's office and stopped when she say her son and Kate on his desk. At the sound of the door opening Castle had whirled around and Kate and tried to throw herself off the desk to hide under it. All Martha had seen was her son looking panicked and the back end of Kate trying to hide under the large desk.

"Mother! Have you ever heard of knocking?" His eyes were wide and filled with both shock and annoyance.

"Oh darling, come on. It's not like I haven't done this before. Nothing to be embarrassed about! And Detective Beckett, I do hope you'll join us for dinner!" She waved her hand and she exited the room, shutting the door behind her. Castle ran a hand over his face.

"Uh, Kate are you going to come out?"

"No." Castle smiled.

"You have to leave eventually…"

"No."

Kate was curled up in a ball under the desk, head buried in her hands. She could feel how red her face was and there was no way in hell she could go out there and face Martha.

"Kate, come one it wasn't THAT bad right?"

"No Castle. This is pretty much the most embarrassing thing that has happened to me in a long time."

Castle poked his head under the desk and grinned at her. He had never seen a more adorable picture of Kate in the time he had known her. He could only wish that there was a way to take a real picture. He held out a hand to her but she just glared at him. She crawled out from her hiding spot on her hands and knees. She stood up and straightened her top.

"I should go."

"Kate, stop. It was not that bad, really. She could have caught us ten minutes later and who knows what we would have been doing."

Kate looked down and tried to hide a smile. Both of them knew what that would have led too. Kate had never wanted to be with someone so badly. She looked up at him at saw the look on his face. She took a step toward him and he brought his lips to meet hers. He could really get used to this.

He broke the kiss off after a few moments and brought his hand up to brush the hair that had fallen in front of her face.

"Come on, mother won't dare to bring this incident up with Alexis at the table. Plus I'm making fajitas!" She smiled at his goofy pronunciation of the word and turned to move towards the door with him.

"So Kate, darling, are you officially staying with us tonight? I see Alexis is already making way too much food for three people to eat." Kate gave a nod without actually making eye contact. Martha discreetly walked over to her and whispered an apology.

"Trust me when I say Richard has seen me do much worse. And I am very, very happy for the both of you. It took long enough." She patted Kate's hand the walked away to help Alexis.

The entire meal consisted of Kate and Rick stealing glances at each other across the table. Alexis kept quite through most of the meal, only talking when addressed. Kate was trying to understand what might be going on with the young girl but was constantly distracted by the looks Castle was giving her. No one had ever looked at her like this before. She was fucking terrified of it. But she forced herself to stay, to not run, and to be in the arms of someone who truly appreciated her.

Time seemed to drag by slowly, but soon everyone was finished and Kate began to clear the table. Rick slapped her wrist and made her sit down. Kate crossed her arms and glared at him the entire time Martha and Rick were cleaning. Alexis had cleared her plate and mumbled something about homework and multiple tests before running out the door to meet with friends.

Martha made some horrible excuse about one of her friends throwing a last minute party for their pet and left as quickly as Alexis. And then they were alone. Kate was staring at the countertop and could feel the gaze of Rick from the other side.

Her heart was beating faster as she tried to control all of the thoughts. She was wrapped up in her own mind too deeply to see Castle moving towards her. She jumped when he pressed a kiss into the base of her neck.

"Thanks for being such a good sport today. I know mother can get a little strange…"

"I'm glad you asked me to stay. I needed a family meal, I hate eating by myself anymore."

"You are welcome here any time Kate. I mean it." He made her face him by holding both sides of her face. He pressed a kiss to her lips and she melted into it. Time seemed to stop while they stood there, but neither noticed.

Sorry this took so long guys! I had a super stressful week and started working. Plus my plot bunny decided to scamper off to two different fic ideas.

Reviews are my crack!

ps. I dont do crack but I can only assume that the feelings reviews give me would be pretty much the same.


	14. Chapter 14

I am SO sorry. It's been over a month since I last updated, but life threw too many punch at my direction and writing was the farthest thing on my mind. But I am back in action! Bringing you soon to be wildly inappropriate content! Have a good read loves!

* * *

They had watched television for the rest of the night, cuddled into each other. Neither could really remember what had been playing because most of the night they were either kissing or staring at their hands which were in between both of their laps, gripping the others tightly.

Castle thought he might have gone into a state of shock. So much had happened this year already and it was just turning to the fall. So much pain, but so much happiness. He started to realize that Kate had stopped stroking his thumb and her breathing had evened out. Her head rested on his shoulder, the brown curls of her hair falling gently in front of her face. Raising a hand to brush them out of her face, he smiled. The peaceful look on her face was something new to Castle. It was strange, but wonderful.

He sat there for a few minutes more, just taking it in. The life he had once lived was gone, and in its place was something so much better than he could have dreamed of. He scooted away slowly from Kate, knowing he should wake her soon. There was no doubt in his mind that she wouldn't want to spend the night here, with work in the morning and nothing to wear here. Not yet at least.

"Kate, honey, you need to wake up." He spoke softly as he shook her arm.

"I swear to God Castle if you call me honey I will break both your arms." Kate sounded partially asleep, her voice thick and husky. It would be a lie if that voice didn't turn Rick on. A lot.

"Kate, unless you want to go to work tomorrow in the same clothes you're in, you should probably go home."

She groaned and ran a hand over her face to wake her up. He was right, as much as she wanted to stay, there was no way she could get home in the morning to change, especially if a body dropped in the middle of the night.

"I'll see you tomorrow though, right? If a body drops that is, there's no way you would want to spend hours staring at a wall or looking a cold case. Not too exciting." Castle gave her a funny look before gently kissing her.

"I will be there. Nothing will stop me."

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Weeks passed and Kate and Rick grew closer, but never spent the night with each other. Rick did not push her to do anything; he let her come to him. There was one reason that Kate had not progressed their relationship. The scars had not faded. In almost three months the small ones had faded almost into oblivion. But the ones that had counted, the one, was still as bold as ever. She was too self-conscious still to let anyone see them, even Lanie. She knew she needed to deal with the issue soon, but as long as she could push it back, she would.

She was laying against Rick's chest on her couch, watching re-runs on television. She could hear the gears working in his brain; it was louder than the crappy cop show in the background.

"What's on your mind?"

"I want to take you out. Out, out. Not hamburgers or coffee. Tux's and dresses, fast cars or limos. I want to show the world us. Please."

Kate was still in his arms. She didn't expect that. Something for Nikki Heat, yes. Something about the case they were working, yes. Actually going out? Not in the slightest.

"Oh. What exactly did you have in mind?"

"Masa. I can get reservations tomorrow, I know a chef that owes me a favor." He gave her a small grin as she looked questioningly over her shoulder. Masa was expensive. $300 expensive. Kate never expected to eat there, but Castle had a way of making the unexpected occur. That's why she loved being with him.

She turned around on the couch to look him in the eye. A small smile spread over her lips and she kissed him. His hand worked their way to the back of her neck and held her lips to his. The kisses was slow and filled with love. It scared Kate but thrilled her at the same time.

"I'll get off work tomorrow no later than five. Pick me up at eight? Or did you want to go earlier?"

"I'll get reservations at 8:30. Thank you, Kate." He placed a single kiss on her lips. She smiled into him, thinking about how something so little could make him so happy.

Kate stood in front of her closet, staring at the small rack of dresses contained inside. Her hair was damp and hung straight down her back, framing her makeup-less face. Masa was very nice, so something form fitting might be considered inappropriate. She reached her hand out to touch a dark blue fabric of one of her nicer dresses. She had never worn it for Castle, maybe now would be the perfect time. She slipped the silky material off the hanger and turned toward her bed. The entire nights outfit was spread over her bedspread and  
Kate cocked her head and stared out what she had come up with. Large chunky silver bracelets framed the navy backless dress on the sides, while two inch platform pumps sat near the neckline.

She gave a length sigh and slipped off her red plush robe, revealing dark purple lace underwear that clung tightly to her backside. There was no need for a bra, it would only end up showing. She quickly dressed and stood barefoot in front of the large mirror in her bathroom.

Steam still hung thickly in the air from her half-hour shower. Her hair dryer and curling iron were plugged in at the socket near the sink. It took her ten minutes to turn the wet hair into a full mane of dry hair. It took another twenty to curl her hair into the way Castle always saw it. By the time smoke colored eye-shadow had appeared on her lids, it was nearing eight.

Kate had never been a fidgeting type of person. She usually caused most of the men she had dated to fidget. Control was the main focus for Kate; she had lost control after her mothers' death and there was no way she could go back to that. But Castle had been slowly taking control from her. She hated to admit it, but she liked it. She liked being able to relax. She liked not having to worry if she was being too cold. Castle knew her. He knew her more than anyone, and it scared her shitless.

A knock startled her out of her reverie. A small pulled the corners of her mouth up as her heels clicked methodically on her wood floors. Wrenching open the door, she stood face to face with Mr. Castle.

He was dressed in a black suit, white colored button down, and a deep red tie. He was handsome. And he was grinning wildly at her.

"Hello beautiful."

"Hey." She smiled gently. He reached out to brush a curl out of her face.

"You ready?"

"Only for you." His smile faltered and his eyes grew dark. A throaty laugh exploded from Kate at his expression. He grabbed for her arm and pulled her into a tight hug and kissed her neck. She laughed again at his actions before pushing him off.

"C'mon Castle, let's go out."

Dinner took the pair two hours to complete. Kate had never had such a beautifully presented meal before, and she savored it. Castle stole glances over his sushi at her when he thought she wasn't looking. The dress was a success at least; he only had eyes for her. No one seemed to recognize them at least.

The conversation drifted from the case to Alexis to the next Nikki Heat. Castle promised her that what was happening with them would be completely separate from their fictional counterparts. It was what Kate had hoped for.

"Do you want to come over from sundaes as big as our head?" He was walking out of the restaurant with Kate, his hand drawing circles on the bare skin of her. She looked over at him with a raised eyebrow?

"You trying to plump me up there, Ricky-boy?" He rolled his eyes at her and stepped partially into the street and hailed a taxi.

"You are coming back over. I'm making a decision Ms. Sassy-pants." He yelped when Kate poked him in the shoulder, but she scooted into the taxi without saying anything. The taxi driver took Castle's address and they drove in near silence to his apartment. Kate was slightly buzzed from the expensive wine served at dinner, but she really didn't care that much. Her hand lay softly on Rick's knee, but started to move slowly upwards.

He turned his head and muttered to stop into her ear. Ignoring his request, she kissed his neck slowly.

"Kate, I swear to God if you keep doing this, you will become the dessert." She pulled back and gave him a wicked smile.

"So?"

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Reviews make my world go round.


	15. Chapter 15

Hey look! It didn't take me a month to update! You all should be so proud of me! :) It gets a little...raunchy at the end, but not enough for me to feel the need to boost this up to an M rating. Not yet at least. Happy reading!

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They made it to Castle's door without being too irresponsible in public. Kate was laughing at Castle's inability to open his own door. It was her fault; she had found a sensitive spot on the base of his neck that made him weak in the knees. It took him a full minute to find the silver metal and push it into the lock.

The loft was quite and dark, except for the small lamp that was casting shadows across Castle's study. Kate had never been in the loft when it was this quite; there were always televisions blaring, Martha practicing her lines, or Castle and Alexis running around the first floor. Kate liked this quite.

"Where are Martha and Alexis?"

"Alexis is studying at a friends' and Martha is trying to find the new mister-right. They won't be back tonight. It's just you and me babe."

"Don't call me babe Castle."

He winked at her as he flipped the switch near the door, illuminating the loft. For a moment Kate couldn't breathe. The alcohol that had been clouding her system seemed to almost entirely evaporate in an instant.

Castle had placed hundreds of sunflowers throughout the loft, scattering them in glass vases on almost every flat surface of his apartment. The bright yellow and brown overtook the coffee table, most of the kitchen counters and in the middle of the open space stood a small white antique table with an iced bottle of champagne with two glasses that appeared to be crystal with white gold detailing around the base.

"What…how?" There were very few facial expressions Kate had never made, and tonight a look of extreme astonishment crossed her face. Her eyebrows were knitted and lines dug deep into her forehead. Parts of the eye-shadow she had put on had fallen below her eyes, giving her eyes a deep-set appearance. Castle knew he had done well though. The twinkling from her eyes showed more emotion than just the initial shock.

"I had a little help from a little birdy while we were out. Said birdy would wish to remain out of the conversation, but she expects details tomorrow." He smiled cheekily at her before moving to uncork the drink. Kate stayed in place near the door, mouth still agape and lines furrowing into her forehead. Shell-shocked would be too simple a term. He was treating her much better than she deserved, and there was no fast way to process the night.

The loud pop from the cork startled Kate, but she moved forward towards the small table to take the half filled glass Castle was pouring. She whispered her thanks, eyes still traveling around the room. The moment this idea popped into his head, Rick knew the look on her face would be worth the trouble.

"Hey. It's okay, I won't make you take all the flowers home, just most of them."

The answer to her unsaid question caused Kate to roll her eyes heavily. The cool liquid gave her a little more courage to speak.

"No one has ever done something quite like this before. This is extraordinary."

"You are the extraordinary one. My life wouldn't be the same without you, you know."

"I'm the reason you have so much money, thank you very much."

"Beckett, if you wanted my money you could have had it a long time ago."

"It's not about the money or the books or the press for me Rick. I could do without the press though. I want you all to myself."

Rick stared at her before his face pulled swiftly into a grin. She was his, and although since he valued his life, she would never need to know he thought that. He sat his empty drink back down on the table. Kate sunk into his now open arms and they stayed like that for a while, softly swaying to the music that could only be heard in their heads.

"Kate?"

"Hmmm?" She was too out of it to answer in complete sentences.

"Stay with me?"

She raised her face to meet his and saw the fear and hope swimming in his eyes.

"Okay." Her head was swimming with fear at what could happen, but at the same time her heart was beating a rapid tango in her chest that was filled with excitement and love. There was still a swirl of alcohol mixed in with her emotions, but she didn't notice.

They stood there for a moment longer before Castle broke from the embrace. He slowly walked her through the living room, Kate's eyes flickering to the small bunches of flowers on the tables. There was no way he was going to make her take all of the arrangements home.

"Kate?"

She had been deep into her mind once again and didn't realize they were in his room.

"Would you like sweats or boxers?"

"Boxers. They would be nice. Thanks Rick." He handed her white boxers with small red lobsters and a grey t-shirt. She raised an eyebrow at his underwear choice but said nothing. An evil idea started to spread its roots deep into her mind. Castle could see the gears working on her face, but before he could say anything Kate turned her back to him. Then she pulled the straps down on her dress.

Rick made a strangled noise deep from within his throat. He could still see the scarring low on her back from months ago, but he was more focused on the lack of a bra. Kate looked over her shoulder at him and smirked. She shimmied into the boxers and quickly pulled the shirt over her head.

When another noise escaped from Rick's mouth, one of slight disappointment, Kate turned around to face him. He was still mostly dressed and staring at her with a funny look on his face.

"Castle? You okay there…"

Before she could finish her sentence with a smart-ass remark, Castle was in front of her. The air around them almost sparked with intensity and Kate felt his warm breath on her face. He looked into her eyes before pulling her into a deep, passionate kiss.

A second later he pulled back and looked at her. She had never looked so beautiful to him. There was no need for power heels or fancy dresses. Just having her with him was enough. The lights from buildings across the street from Castle's apartment shone through the window and hit her face, making her long hair shimmer ethereally.

"You look beautiful, you know that?"

"Castle. Stop it. I'm in clothes that are almost twice the size I wear. I look like a drowning cat."

She started to move towards the bathroom but Castle caught her wrist and spun her around to face him. His hands moved down to her waist and he fingered the edge of his shirt before slipping his hands under to feel the warm skin beneath.

"Castle…Rick…please."

He couldn't tell by the sound of her voice if she wanted to stop or keep going. Lower extremities were ruling his brain right now and he would rather deal with a sore ear than take his hands away earlier.

Kate could barely breathe. The voice she was using was unfamiliar to her; she never sounded this quite before, it wasn't like her. Large hands were roaming her hips, sending what felt like electric shocks down her body. No one had made her feel this before and she was reveling in it.

Kate nodded once she noticed the questioning look in Rick's eyes. Blackness covered her world briefly before the cool air ran over her body. Rick's eyes remained locked with hers. He pulled his shirt off as well before closing the distance between them. What was meant to be a slow and sensual kiss quickly turned into something more primitive. Rick's undoing was the moans that were escaping from Kate's throat and into his mouth. Hands traveled higher as feet moved backwards. Kate slowly lowered herself onto the sheets and began to crawl backwards, never breaking the kiss. It was only when they both lie in the bed comfortably that air became a major necessity.

"Are you sure?"

"More than anything."

These simple three words were enough to fill Rick's heart with the most amazing feeling of pure love. It wasn't the three little words that he wanted to say to her and for her to say it back, but it was as close has he could get right now.

He began to place small kisses down her neck and Kate shivered at the sensation. A noise grew in her throat when he found her pulse point at the base of her neck. He sucked harder there and nipped slightly at the already flushed skin. His hands began to wander from their place on her sides and she openly gasped when they rested on her breasts. Castle skillfully manipulated his hands to get Kate panting hard and looking at him with lust-filled eyes. That single look was all it took to make him break.

His mouth traveled lower and captured a nipple in his mouth. Kate thrusted upward and gasped at the feeling. Her hands threaded in his hair and she urged him on. He stayed there for a few minutes, alternating between the pair.

"You have way to many clothes on."

She lifted her hips off the bed and Rick slowly pulled down her shorts, kissing every inch of exposed skin. Suddenly he stopped. It took Kate a second to realize this and immediately opened her eyes and raised her head slightly from the bed.

"What's wrong?"

"What is this. Kate. What. Is. This." There was no question in his tone; he wanted answers.

Kate had forgotten. In her alcohol filled night and sudden extreme passion, she had forgotten. How could she have been so stupid?

Her hands quickly reached down to grab the boxers out of his hands and swiftly pulled them back into place. She tried to move out from under him but he grabbed her lower thighs and pushed them into the mattress.

"Answer me. Kate, please." His voice had grown softer and complete worry had taken over the expression of his face.

"It's nothing. Really."

"Bullshit. That's not nothing. Did that bastard do that to you? When I find him I'm going to tear him apart!" His fist flew into the mattress in a moment of rage that terrified Kate. She flinched back and used the partial freedom to push him off of her. She jumped off the bed quickly and found the grey shirt and pulled it over her head quickly.

"Kate, wait stop please!" She wouldn't listen. She was still trying to pick up all the things she had casually removed before changing.

She had thought that she had been ready for this. For something good to finally happen in her life. But the rage Castle had shown scared her. She was completely broken; a misfit toy. Sex would never be the same for her since those nights, and she had known that from the start. But actually seeing what she had feared come to life was too much for her. She felt hot tears begin to streak down her face as she grabbed her heels off of the floor.

"Stop." Castle jumped up from the bed, his frozen state finally breaking. "Kate I am so sorry. I didn't mean to get so upset please don't go."

She stopped near his door.

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Author's Note: I'm going to be dealing with pretty heavy themes in the next section. I can keep it "T" if everyone would like, or I can venture into detail about Kate kidnapping and what happens after. Review and let me know what you think!

Much love to you all.


	16. Chapter 16

Alright guys. This chapter is kind of heavy, hence the upgrade in rating. There is a pretty massive trigger warning on this.

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"Castle, please. Just let me go." His heart broke at her voice. Gone was the joy and lust that had echoed throughout her during the date, replaced with the woman he saw months ago.

Castle knew he had fucked up.

"Kate, wait. Can we just talk for a bit? I want to know exactly why you are so angry and hurt, please. For me?"

Kate slowly turned around and backed into the wall. She slowly slid down and sat cross legged on the ground. Her eyes were still read, but she had stopped the tears from falling. Her hair was falling in front of her face and her eyes were avoiding his.

"Kate, I am sorry. I am sorry for reacting the way I did, but I had no idea that happened to you. I knew you kept secrets and I respected that; you went through something that not many people do. Something I would never wish on anyone, and I know you feel the same. But Kate, sweetheart, you need to tell me these things. I was so surprised by this. But you know Kate? It doesn't make me love you any less."

Kate looked up sharply at the last sentence. He loved her? Like let's-go-run-through-fields-of-wildflowers-towards-each-other love?

"Rick…I briefly told you what happened to me. I needed to let you know from me, not from anyone else. But my God how can I tell you things when you react like that!" Her voice rose sharply for a moment before she lifted her head to stare at the ceiling. A shaky breath was taken before she continued.

"Rick. You were the only person I thought could fix me. It took me months to move on from what happened to me. You have no idea, no fucking clue, what I have dealt with. Do you know what it's like to live in complete fear? Do you know what it is like to feel like you cannot go outside without being attacked again? Do you know what it is fucking like to be so ashamed of your body that you would have rather been killed then to live with the fact that you were gang raped and help hostage for days? Trust me when I say you have no fucking clue. I still close my eyes and feel the cold metal around my body and those God damn dirty hands over me. That scar that will always be with me is a permanent reminder that I failed. That I couldn't get out, that I now have to live with myself even though I feel disgusting. God. You made me forget. For three or four hours, I completely forgot what happened. I felt happy and that's not something I have truly felt in a long time. I don't eat much anymore. I don't sleep much anymore. I've come close to praying to have the courage to just grab a knife and take my mind off of the pain in my mind."

Tears were falling freely down Kate's face at this point. She struggled to breathe properly, but Rick didn't want to interrupt her. He sat on the edge of his bed, staring at her, struggling for words and hoping to whatever God that was out there that he could be strong for her right now.

"I couldn't tell you these things Rick. I couldn't. I can't even tell myself them most days. Lanie doesn't know everything, my shrink doesn't know everything, so don't play the victim card with me. I'm trying to fix myself. I'm trying really hard, but I can't when the person I trust reacts so harshly to my own body. I wish I could get rid of this, so much, but all of the scar fading crème in the world won't fix it."

"Kate stop. Please, stop. I don't think you realize the effect you have on me. All I want in my life is to make sure that you are okay. I want you to be more than okay. I wish I could just hold you to me and take all the pain you feel away. But I can't, and I know that. But the best thing I can do for you is help you forget. If you would have told me how I helped, I would have been with you every single day. Do you realize that Kate? I can't help you if you don't help me. Please. I would do anything for you. Anything."

He got up from the bed and knelt in front of her. She was still crying and she hands were shaking as they hung loosely in front of her legs. Using both of his hands, he pushed Kate's head up so he could look her in the eye.

"You will never be disgusting to me. You are the most beautiful person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. You carry more than just your life on your shoulders, but your mothers and your fathers, and every single family that has to deal with what you went through. You are the bravest person I know. And I…I love you."

A small sob escaped her throat and she brought a hand up to her mouth. Her eyes were wide and filled with unshed tears. Castle pulled her hand from her mouth, brushed the stray hairs from her face and pulled her into a kiss.

It was a short kiss, but one of Kate's sweetest she had ever received. There was no pressure, no intense passion, just love.

"I will never, ever not love you. And I know that you are not ready for those big words, but you needed to hear them. Not everyone in this world will hurt you. Some will, and you know that. Hell, you know that better than anyone. But I will try my hardest not to hurt you anymore. But you know us; we are bound to fight. But I will come back to you. I promise."

"God, I don't deserve you at all."

He silenced her with another kiss. This kiss was firmer than before, as if he were trying to force the thought from her mind. Her hands, still shaky, wrapped around his neck and gripped his hair tightly. She gave in to the kiss slowly, letting his tongue dance against hers. One arm of Rick's moved hold her legs, while the other snaked around her back. Before she could even let a squeak, she was off the ground and being walked back to his bed.

"I swear Castle, if you do that again I'll kill you myself."

"Empty threats, dear Detective, empty threats."

He placed her on the bed gently and she scooted up towards the headboard. She gave a small smile at him and pushed her hair out of her face. It looked so innocent to Castle. He had to show her how much he loved her.

He was on his knees with his arms holding him up over Kate's body. A small kiss was placed onto her lips before he bent further to give a small nibble on her ear. She made a light noise, a cross between a sound of annoyance and of desire. He grinned into her neck and she gave him a slap on the back of the head. He put his teeth around her collarbone and nipped. She arched slightly off the bed and he smiled again.

His hands worked to pull off her shirt without having to break the kiss for long. Once the material was out of the way he began to kiss down the rest of her body. He avoided the places he knew Kate was desperate for him to touch, because there was something more important that he had to do.

Her hands were resting near her hips and when Rick went to tug off the boxers again, she shifted her hands and pressed the material into her body. Subconsciously or not, the move hurt Rick. He looked up at her face, flushed cheeks and eyebrows knitted together. She looked like she was in pain.

"Kate. Look at me."

She opened her eyes and made eye contact.

Rick gently took her hands off of her hips and placed a small kiss on both before placing them on the fabric of the bed. Slipping his thumbs under the elastic, he gently pulled them down until the entire scar was showing. Bracing himself, he looked up at her. The green in her pupils shone brighter as her eyes filled with tears.

He pressed a kiss into the first letter, then another, and another.

"You are so beautiful Kate. So beautiful. You take my breath away every single day. No matter what happens, no matter how many scars you have, I will still think that. You are so brave, Kate. Not many people could do what you are. You are getting stronger every single day. And if you ever need someone to help hold you up when the weight of the world gets too heavy, I'm here. I'll always be here."

His thumb rubbed the slightly raised letters and goose bumps rose on her skin.

"Rick, please. Help me forget."

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Alright everyone. Do you want detail about what happens next, or just skip the morning after? Please review, it makes everything better.


	17. Chapter 17

Sorry for the slight delay folks. Unfortunately, my grandmother passed last week and I was busy trying to keep my mother from going slightly insane. Obviously, you do not know her, but she had one of the greatest sense of humors I have even seen. She would pass around dirty jokes at the nursing home to those who wanted a giggle and that's why I'm dedicating the rest of this story to her. I know she's probably rolling in her grave, laughing hysterically at this section and I wouldn't have it any other way.

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He looked at her for a moment. Her hair was fanned out on his dark pillow, catching the light and shining brightly. Her teeth were sunk harshly into her lip and Rick's eyes caught hers. He pressed a kiss over the scar and began to slowly make his way up her body. By the time he was pressing his mouth firmly on hers', her entire body was on fire. The noises that were bubbling from Kate's mouth were driving Rick insane and he knew that he couldn't hold out any longer.

Unclasping her bra, Rick threw the material over his shoulder and flinched slightly when he heard something topple over and smash against the ground. Kate started to laugh, no, giggle. That giggle soon turned into deep groan as Rick's lips tightened around her nipple. His other hand was caressing her hip and lower back forcing her to arch even farther off the bed. Her breathing was becoming more and more rapid and she was becoming louder and louder. Rick should have known there would be no way to make this a quiet affair. Kate almost always did what she wanted anyway.

Kate barely registered when Rick pulled away from her to shed the rest of her clothes and his at the same time. She was riding on a completely different plane of existence. Her worst fears were over. The carelessness she showed in not remembering to warn Rick may have hurt them both, but he loved her. Truly, deeply, loved her. And, even though she couldn't believe how horrendously cheesy she was being, love conquered all. If anyone told Rick what she thought she might have died from embarrassment.

But all of these silly fourteen-year-old-in-love thoughts vanished when he kiss the inner side of her knee. Oh if there really was a God, Kate would have to thank him if she got there. His hands began to creep up the outer part of her body, coming to a rest on the largest part of her hips. His mouth slinked up after the rest of his body, but with much closer detail to the skin the closer he got to her core. A horribly needy noise came from Kate's mouth and she could feel Rick slowly smile against her thigh.

Rick pressed a single kiss against her and Kate gasped loudly. Lifting her legs over his shoulder, he delved into her. He licked her from top to bottom pressing hard when he neared her clit. Her panting and moaning was driving him crazy, making him work faster against her. A quick move of his hand from her hip and he plunged into her. She cried out and her hips bucked against him. Mouth latching onto her nub, he began to pump viciously into her. It took only a few short moments before she shattered into his mouth. The noise of her breaking will always be engrained into Rick's mind. His eyes opened and caught the look of pure, unabashed pleasure on her face the moment before and just knew she was it. There would be no one else for him.

He crawled up her body once again and hovered above her face. How incredibly gorgeous she was. Flushed skin, mussed hair, and hazed eyes. Perfection.

Kate reached up to grip his shoulders and forced him closer to her face. A searing kiss was given by Kate while Ricked positioned himself at her entrance. She nodded and without breaking their lips he pushed himself slowly into her. A breathy moan filled the silence of the apartment. Rick looked deeply into her eyes and began to move.

The sensations that rocked them both were beyond their wildest imaginations. Both could have laughed at their stupidity to avoid each other for so many years.

"You have no idea the affect you have on me Kate. None whatsoever."

She gave a small smile and he could see her face getting redder. There was no getting over embarrassing Kate now that he knew how too.

Rick lost most of his coherent thought when Kate began to move with him. Noticing the look in his eyes, Kate leaned up towards him and muttered, "Come for me." That's when Castle's higher brain function stopped. Kate smiled a little wickedly at him and he kissed her before emptying inside her. There was a ringing in his ears as he came down from the high. Kate's hands where gently moving along his back and she was murmuring into his ear.

It took Rick a moment to register what she was saying.

"I love you. I love you so much Castle."

He pressed his hand firmly in the bed and lifted himself off of her. The look of complete and total affection in her eyes was overwhelming beautiful. He gave a huge child-like grin and placed a kiss on her lips.

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Folks, I do believe this story is going to start winding down. I can see maybe five more chapters, but you never know.

Reviews would be lovely.


	18. Chapter 18

Kate woke up early that morning, as usual. She was curled up in her corner of the bed while Castle was spread completely across the mattress, sheets curling in between his legs.. Normally she was not a huge cuddler throughout the night. Obviously, some nights human contact was the only thing that would make her feel anything. Last night was not one of those nights. But it was okay because she felt so much more with Castle.

Kate rolled partially over; her body twisted in a spine cracking pose. A soft snore was coming from Rick's open mouth and a smile grew on her lips. Neither one of them had bothered to get the clothes that were scattered across his floor after their…encounter. The clock on his bedside table was flashing a seven at her face.

Deciding she had enough of lying in bed, staring at Castle and being a complete hypocrite about how creepy it was, Kate rose from the warm sheets, shivering as the cool air reached her body. She stood in the center of the room, looking slowly around. She only had the outfit from the night before and the stuff she was wearing when they were relaxing. There really was not much of a choice in this department so she slipped back on the boxers and shirt before strolling out barefoot into the living room. She knew Rick wouldn't mind her staying in his clothes; he would probably enjoy it.

She grabbed the first Nikki Heat off of a bookshelf against one of the walls and settled down on the couch. It was too early for Castle to be up so she knew there would be at least two hours before he began to bug her about breakfast. But now, she was alone. Alone in his amazing loft curled up with a three hundred page love letter to her. A small smile crept onto her face and stayed there as she started to read the initial encounter between her and Castle. There was no denying how much of this was actually true. She could add page 105 to the list now.

She had fallen asleep with her face curled into the couch, blanket half covering her and the book poking her in the stomach. Castle was standing over her grinning, clothes from last night back on him as well. He had prodded her in the shoulder and placed a kiss on her temple to wake her back up from her nap.

"Hey sleepyhead! You worried me for a minute when I woke up but you seemed to have found a different place to sleep."

Oh. She hadn't thought about that when she moved. He would have thought she had run.

"I wouldn't leave like that. I wouldn't leave at all. Just…sorry I guess."

He grabbed her by the shoulder and flipped her on her back on the couch. A brief kiss was placed on her forehead and he murmured a greeting into her ear.

"I know you wouldn't. But let's talk about the most important thing this morning Kate. Breakfast! What do you crave, my dear detective? Pancakes?" He waggles his eyebrows suggestively, reminding Kate of when she had her stalker.

"Mmmm…omelets? No smorelets though Castle, I will not touch that."

He gave her a puppy dog look and she slapped his shoulder. There was a line Kate drew with her food, and mixing chocolate and eggs together was very far on the other side.

"Alright, alright. I'll cook if you get the champagne glasses from the cabinet? We can do a brunch and not have to run out mid way now."

She shoots him a look, but gets the glasses anyway. Her feet were getting a little cold from the floor and she gave a small shiver. She placed the glasses on the island in the kitchen and moved to stand behind Rick. Slipping her hands around his midsection, she peered over his shoulder and watched the eggs begin to cook.

It was strange how easy this all felt. She would have thought it would have been horrible and awkward, but there goes Castle surprising her once again.

"Do you remember our first date?"

Where had this sprung from?

"Uhh, I believe we just had it Castle."

"No. That was not our first date. Do you remember, all those months ago when I found you in Central Park? God you were so beautiful sitting there with that book. Your hair was curling around your face and that jacket made you look like a badass. That laser tag match, oh boy. One of my favorites, but don't tell Alexis."

That is what he thought their first date was? A game a laser tag.

"My favorite part of that day was your voice when you saw me. So annoyed, but yet somehow so very excited. Don't hide it from me Kate. I know you wanted to see me all morning."

He smirked into her hair, her head still resting on his shoulder. Still smelled the same.

"You want to know why I consider that our first date? It was the first time we had hung out together outside of work, without the rest of the team, or because we were injured. I know you Kate. I know that you enjoyed my company more than you thought you would outside of murder and mayhem. It was the day I knew I had a chance with you. More than a chance, actually. I knew I could snag you away and everything would be perfect. It was the day I knew no one else could be enough."

It had taken Kate nearly dying multiple different ways to see Castle. Yet he knew from a simple child's game.

She should have seen that coming.

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Well folks, all good things must come to an end. I don't think you realize how much your reviews made my day. So many of you left the sweetest, kindest words that I will always remember.

I have a few other stories on my computer as well as one that I am soon to be updating, so if you want some serious angst go check it out!


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